We know that you are all waiting for more news, and all of you are dreading the message that leaves all of us shattered and empty, and will change our lives completely. But we are so sorry to let you all know that our dearest, lovely Vicky died this morning at 3.15am. She fought a very brave fight but was, thankfully, pain-free at the end. She wasn’t on her own as Martin, Anna, Diarmid and Kerstin were with her while Joan was unselfishly looking after Iona. Afterwards Kerstin swapped roles with Joan, allowing Joan to see Vicky.
Vicky’s last thoughts were on her dearest Iona. Vicky was clearly put at ease as Anna showed her pictures of her lovely girl.
We are now arranging the funeral, but as you know this takes some time. We will gather in Memorial Woodlands (www.memorialwoodlands.com) on Saturday 24th November. We will tell you the final details as soon as we know them.
With love from Vicky’s family
Wednesday, 14 November 2007
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
New surroundings
As Vicky's brother (Diarmid, special request blogger!) I have been given the task of making sense of the last few days. As a doctor myself by training, it can be difficult to separate the medical facts from the emotional response.
Readers of Martin's last blog will know that the news was very bad last week. During the holiday to Spain Vicky became very ill very quickly and the scan on her return showed that the cancer had spread to the lining of the brain and the spinal cord. This is not only very difficult to treat effectively but causes extremely unpleasant symptoms of awful headaches, neck stiffness and vomiting. It's really a low grade meningitis.
The priority for Vicky has therefore been to reduce inflammation and swelling around the brain and relieve her headaches and sickness. It has taken some time to really get this under control, with a terrible up and down 2 or 3 days, during which her immediate family (Joan, Anna, myself and my wife Kerstin and my kids) have travelled to be with her, but with injections of steroids, strong painkillers and anti-sickness drugs, she is now alternating between relaxed sleep and times of alertness, when she is her usual funny and strong-willed self, generally trying to get the family organised!
This morning Vicky was moved with her consent to St Peter's Hospice, where the surroundings are much more relaxed than the Oncology Unit and the focus is very much on maximising the pleasure Vicky and her family can get from what are almost certain to be her last few days or weeks.
She seems to be wonderfully calm and concerned more for her family and friends than herself, dispensing hugs to her nephew and niece (Helen and Andrew), among others today. Iona seems to be understanding and participating in her own way what is going on, and her smiling and laughter with her cousins has been a great comfort to us all.
Over the last few days we owe many thanks to many people (particularly but not exclusively!) Jackie, Hannah, Shane and particularly from me and Andrew, Skye the cat.
Thanks for all of your very kind messages. As ever we are relaying them to Vicky.
Diarmid X
Readers of Martin's last blog will know that the news was very bad last week. During the holiday to Spain Vicky became very ill very quickly and the scan on her return showed that the cancer had spread to the lining of the brain and the spinal cord. This is not only very difficult to treat effectively but causes extremely unpleasant symptoms of awful headaches, neck stiffness and vomiting. It's really a low grade meningitis.
The priority for Vicky has therefore been to reduce inflammation and swelling around the brain and relieve her headaches and sickness. It has taken some time to really get this under control, with a terrible up and down 2 or 3 days, during which her immediate family (Joan, Anna, myself and my wife Kerstin and my kids) have travelled to be with her, but with injections of steroids, strong painkillers and anti-sickness drugs, she is now alternating between relaxed sleep and times of alertness, when she is her usual funny and strong-willed self, generally trying to get the family organised!
This morning Vicky was moved with her consent to St Peter's Hospice, where the surroundings are much more relaxed than the Oncology Unit and the focus is very much on maximising the pleasure Vicky and her family can get from what are almost certain to be her last few days or weeks.
She seems to be wonderfully calm and concerned more for her family and friends than herself, dispensing hugs to her nephew and niece (Helen and Andrew), among others today. Iona seems to be understanding and participating in her own way what is going on, and her smiling and laughter with her cousins has been a great comfort to us all.
Over the last few days we owe many thanks to many people (particularly but not exclusively!) Jackie, Hannah, Shane and particularly from me and Andrew, Skye the cat.
Thanks for all of your very kind messages. As ever we are relaying them to Vicky.
Diarmid X
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Back from Holiday with news...
Ok all you passengers where do I start?
We got back from Spain last night, as you know we hoped it was going to a really relaxing break however things didn’t go to plan..
Vicky had travelled to Spain without too much difficulty, Heathrow to Barcelona then to Almeria. The next day V was naturally a bit tired so we didn’t do much at all. From the Monday things started to go down hill. She felt very nauseas and began to be sick regularly. A couple of days later she developed some nagging headaches.
Of course she took anti sickness and paracetamol but to no avail.
All she could manage was to stay wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa or in bed. We did try and go out a few times just to a beach but that was not much fun for V. Something was seriously wrong.
Iona and Joan made the most of it though. Joan got straight in the sea and Iona played nicely. We did try a small venture to some shops but Vicky we noticed was getting very unsteady on her feet! That was a bit alarming coupled with her headaches.
We really were getting worried and pondered the possibility of getting flights home. Vicky just couldn’t keep anything down. So she text Dr Braybrooke. We are very lucky to have such an approachable consultant on this bus, and he rang back. He suggested Vicky take some steroids. This did help. And Vicky’s headaches in the Day time did subside so did the nausea.
The night time was a very different matter though, as the steroids wore off and back came the sickness and painful headaches. We didn’t sleep much at all the last three of four days.
It was such a shame because Joan had picked a beautiful house. It was up in the hills with fab pool and stunning views. Iona was amazing. On the few sunny days we did swim a lot in the pool. She has a small dingy and was the master of the waves. You wouldn’t go near her the way she swung the oars about! Other days Joan took her out on walks, or she read.
The journey home was difficult, Joan (speaks V good Spanish) to the rescue though and she organised a wheel chair from the plane at Barcelona and Heathrow. Might have been last of the plane but straight through the queues at security.. Phew, no way Vicky would have stood for that amount of time. It was Joans birthday to.. typical V more worried about spoiling it than worrying about herself.
Dr B had organised a MRI scan for today (Monday 9am) and wants her in hospital for a while. Chemotherapy is on hold, was due Thursday. We have a meeting with him at the hospital later this afternoon.
I WROTE THAT FIRST PART EARLIER.. This is post meeting….
Vicky’s scan confirmed our worst nightmare. The Cancer is back in the brain. It’s very difficult to put into words what we are feeling now. Dr Braybrooke words were "this is extremely worrying". Radiotherpy isn't an option. Vicky definitely didn’t want me to mention any time scales and I won’t, but things have taken the most serious turn for the worse.
I Want to say a big thanks to Jacqui & Shane solid as ever.
Please keep blogging. I will print all your comments and take them in to show Vicky.
She is going to be in there until next week. Then hopefully home Tuesday.
And we'll take it from there.
I will keep you updated.
Martin X.
Help needed: Joan is moving to Bristol for a while, we need to rent a flat, in Bs6, 1 or 2 Bed, Furnished, and accommodate a small dog, if any of you have a contact in letting then please can you pass them our details. Thanks.
We got back from Spain last night, as you know we hoped it was going to a really relaxing break however things didn’t go to plan..
Vicky had travelled to Spain without too much difficulty, Heathrow to Barcelona then to Almeria. The next day V was naturally a bit tired so we didn’t do much at all. From the Monday things started to go down hill. She felt very nauseas and began to be sick regularly. A couple of days later she developed some nagging headaches.
Of course she took anti sickness and paracetamol but to no avail.
All she could manage was to stay wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa or in bed. We did try and go out a few times just to a beach but that was not much fun for V. Something was seriously wrong.
Iona and Joan made the most of it though. Joan got straight in the sea and Iona played nicely. We did try a small venture to some shops but Vicky we noticed was getting very unsteady on her feet! That was a bit alarming coupled with her headaches.
We really were getting worried and pondered the possibility of getting flights home. Vicky just couldn’t keep anything down. So she text Dr Braybrooke. We are very lucky to have such an approachable consultant on this bus, and he rang back. He suggested Vicky take some steroids. This did help. And Vicky’s headaches in the Day time did subside so did the nausea.
The night time was a very different matter though, as the steroids wore off and back came the sickness and painful headaches. We didn’t sleep much at all the last three of four days.
It was such a shame because Joan had picked a beautiful house. It was up in the hills with fab pool and stunning views. Iona was amazing. On the few sunny days we did swim a lot in the pool. She has a small dingy and was the master of the waves. You wouldn’t go near her the way she swung the oars about! Other days Joan took her out on walks, or she read.
The journey home was difficult, Joan (speaks V good Spanish) to the rescue though and she organised a wheel chair from the plane at Barcelona and Heathrow. Might have been last of the plane but straight through the queues at security.. Phew, no way Vicky would have stood for that amount of time. It was Joans birthday to.. typical V more worried about spoiling it than worrying about herself.
Dr B had organised a MRI scan for today (Monday 9am) and wants her in hospital for a while. Chemotherapy is on hold, was due Thursday. We have a meeting with him at the hospital later this afternoon.
I WROTE THAT FIRST PART EARLIER.. This is post meeting….
Vicky’s scan confirmed our worst nightmare. The Cancer is back in the brain. It’s very difficult to put into words what we are feeling now. Dr Braybrooke words were "this is extremely worrying". Radiotherpy isn't an option. Vicky definitely didn’t want me to mention any time scales and I won’t, but things have taken the most serious turn for the worse.
I Want to say a big thanks to Jacqui & Shane solid as ever.
Please keep blogging. I will print all your comments and take them in to show Vicky.
She is going to be in there until next week. Then hopefully home Tuesday.
And we'll take it from there.
I will keep you updated.
Martin X.
Help needed: Joan is moving to Bristol for a while, we need to rent a flat, in Bs6, 1 or 2 Bed, Furnished, and accommodate a small dog, if any of you have a contact in letting then please can you pass them our details. Thanks.
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
STOP PRESS!
The holiday is on. Dr B just rang and said this morning's blood results are good enough to go. I'm sure the travelling will be an effort but well worth it. I'll now have my treatment when we get back on Thursday 1st November. Perhaps, things are looking up at last.
Vicky x
Vicky x
Monday, 15 October 2007
All change!
No treatment tomorrow. My bloods are shot again - haemaglobin is down to 7.7 (should be between 11.5 - 14.5) and my platelets are a ridiculous 14 when they should be at least 100. Even my white count isn't very impressive considering I'm having the wonder drug Neulasta. On a positive note, the blood tests showed that my liver function has improved which is great news and my first subscription Grazia arrived today! (Thanks Lizzie) We have also been cheered by the generous food parcels which have been arriving on the doorstep - thank you Jacqui and Shane, Helen and Diana. I must admit that Martin has thoroughly enjoyed them!
To be honest, I was quite relieved to hear the blood results - I can't describe how awful I've been feeling pretty much since my last treatment. Sorry if you thought I was out and about enjoying myself - the truth is I've hardly even managed to get to school to pick Iona up and I do miss the playground mums and dads. I've had so little energy, not much appetite and nausea too. Added to all this I've now developed lymphoedema in my right arm. It's definitely all now starting to get me down and Dr B is sending me to see Dr Brennan, a psychologist on Wednesday. To make me feel even more miserable, I struggled to Fat Face on Sunday, couldn't even face trying anything on, spent nothing while Martin merrily splashed out £100!!! Poor Martin - I'm so grumpy at the moment...except when other people are around!! Claire and Katie, two of my oldest school friends, made a flying visit last weekend, Katie before she heads off to Nepal and Claire battled here through the Friday night traffic from Milton Keynes. An impressive effort!
Abigail, Hannah, Jacqui and my planned weekend away was reduced to a night round here - lovely as always to spend time with the girls but not long enough.
So, we don't know where we stand with our Spanish holiday - Dr B has always been very keen for us to go but has now expressed reservation if my platelet count is still low so we won't know what we're doing until the end of the week after another blood transfusion. Martin is keeping quiet on this matter as our flight clashes with the Rugby World Cup Final!!
Iona is on fine form and seems to be taking it all in her stride. She's now quite used to seeing her mother lying flat out on the sofa under a blanket!!
Vicky xx
To be honest, I was quite relieved to hear the blood results - I can't describe how awful I've been feeling pretty much since my last treatment. Sorry if you thought I was out and about enjoying myself - the truth is I've hardly even managed to get to school to pick Iona up and I do miss the playground mums and dads. I've had so little energy, not much appetite and nausea too. Added to all this I've now developed lymphoedema in my right arm. It's definitely all now starting to get me down and Dr B is sending me to see Dr Brennan, a psychologist on Wednesday. To make me feel even more miserable, I struggled to Fat Face on Sunday, couldn't even face trying anything on, spent nothing while Martin merrily splashed out £100!!! Poor Martin - I'm so grumpy at the moment...except when other people are around!! Claire and Katie, two of my oldest school friends, made a flying visit last weekend, Katie before she heads off to Nepal and Claire battled here through the Friday night traffic from Milton Keynes. An impressive effort!
Abigail, Hannah, Jacqui and my planned weekend away was reduced to a night round here - lovely as always to spend time with the girls but not long enough.
So, we don't know where we stand with our Spanish holiday - Dr B has always been very keen for us to go but has now expressed reservation if my platelet count is still low so we won't know what we're doing until the end of the week after another blood transfusion. Martin is keeping quiet on this matter as our flight clashes with the Rugby World Cup Final!!
Iona is on fine form and seems to be taking it all in her stride. She's now quite used to seeing her mother lying flat out on the sofa under a blanket!!
Vicky xx
Thursday, 4 October 2007
After the MMM
Well, I wasn't looking forward to MMM on Tuesday, the multi-coloured triple dose of chemo no 3. But it passed off completely uneventfully. Nicky hid the syringes from me! And it was great - no pain, no nausea, no rainbow wee...and a full meal afterwards! Martin even felt bold enough to go out to the cricket nets with the school dads.
Martin deserves a few nights out - he has been in real super-hero mode lately, looking after me and Iona and the cat (in no partcular order!!). Plus it's student time at work and they are all desperate for Virgin Media services so he's working silly hours and the other team leader chose last weekend to wrap himself and his high speed motorbike round a van on the M32 so he's out of action for 10 weeks with some nasties to his leg.
So, I wait to see what side effects the MMM is going to throw at me - so far, so good. Yesterday (Wednesday) I had more energy than I have in a long while. Having said that it's still a huge effort to get up the hill from school..but I did manage a few jobs round the house...probably a few too many judging by how I feel today. I must pace myself better. When I learn how to do that, I'll let you know!!! A weekend of rugby watching will be a good start!
More soon.
Vicky xx
Martin deserves a few nights out - he has been in real super-hero mode lately, looking after me and Iona and the cat (in no partcular order!!). Plus it's student time at work and they are all desperate for Virgin Media services so he's working silly hours and the other team leader chose last weekend to wrap himself and his high speed motorbike round a van on the M32 so he's out of action for 10 weeks with some nasties to his leg.
So, I wait to see what side effects the MMM is going to throw at me - so far, so good. Yesterday (Wednesday) I had more energy than I have in a long while. Having said that it's still a huge effort to get up the hill from school..but I did manage a few jobs round the house...probably a few too many judging by how I feel today. I must pace myself better. When I learn how to do that, I'll let you know!!! A weekend of rugby watching will be a good start!
More soon.
Vicky xx
Monday, 1 October 2007
Coming back to life...!
Well, I can honestly say that I've been out of it for the last couple of weeks - it has been an effort to do anything...so I've done nothing!! Fortunately, Mum was here and then Anna came down and took over. My main concern is that I haven't set foot in Iona's bedroom for nearly two weeks and I am dreading what awaits me!
Anna came with me to my work retirement party on Friday lunchtime. Through the week I was really worried whether I would make it there at all but I did...just...and it was a lovely occasion. My boss said a few words, the Chair of the Board said a few words and I said a few words and everyone just about kept their emotions in check. Can't say the same for my nausea and I did have to make a quick dash for the loos!!! Smart Hotel du Vin loos - could be worse!!
My colleagues have been fantastically generous and we now have a voucher for a family photography session and, suffice to say, you will soon be seeing me in an all new Fat Face winter wardrobe!! They also put together a hilarious scrap book with all sorts of embarrassing photos and anecdotes - I do wonder if I stayed there too long!!
So, I've now left work - in fact, today is the first day of my retirement. Sadly, it's a bit wet for gardening!
I've been waiting to see how I felt before deciding on whether to start my MMM treatment tomorrow but I've decided to go for it and get started. I'll let you know how it goes.
Vicky xx
Anna came with me to my work retirement party on Friday lunchtime. Through the week I was really worried whether I would make it there at all but I did...just...and it was a lovely occasion. My boss said a few words, the Chair of the Board said a few words and I said a few words and everyone just about kept their emotions in check. Can't say the same for my nausea and I did have to make a quick dash for the loos!!! Smart Hotel du Vin loos - could be worse!!
My colleagues have been fantastically generous and we now have a voucher for a family photography session and, suffice to say, you will soon be seeing me in an all new Fat Face winter wardrobe!! They also put together a hilarious scrap book with all sorts of embarrassing photos and anecdotes - I do wonder if I stayed there too long!!
So, I've now left work - in fact, today is the first day of my retirement. Sadly, it's a bit wet for gardening!
I've been waiting to see how I felt before deciding on whether to start my MMM treatment tomorrow but I've decided to go for it and get started. I'll let you know how it goes.
Vicky xx
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