Why a blog?I have decided to set up a blog as a way of keeping everyone up to date with what is happening - I am lucky to have the most fantastic group of friends (and family, of course!) who have seen me through some of the best times in my life and some of the not so good and I need you all with me now...and this seems to be a good way to keep in touch.
Why 'Get on the Bus'? Well, in those first awful few days after the diagnosis Jacqui and Shane appeared to pick up the pieces on more than one occasion and it was Shane who described us as all setting out on a journey together, each with different roles to play....although he was adamant from day one that Jacqui wasn't navigating!! We'd like you to get on the bus with us - so many people have asked what they can do, well just be here with us.
The day things changed..Three weeks away from my 40th birthday and life couldn't be much better - I was fit, happy and healthy...or so I thought! Martin and I were due to go to Marrakesh for a long weekend, we had a party planned, I loved my job and Iona was happy at school.
On Friday 27th October (exactly 2 years to the day since I met Martin speeddating!) I was diagnosed with breast cancer - I only went to my GP earlier in the week because Iona was at Mum's for half term. I'd felt a small lump in my right breast for about 10 days or so and I thought I'd take the opportunity of Iona being away to have it checked out - I wasn't even worried...but I should have been!
The last few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride but, unlike the Alton Towers rides, with more downs than ups - for those of you who haven't had to live every awful minute with me, here is the summary of events:
Monday 23rd October First visit to GP, referred to Mr Cawthorn at The Glen (smart BUPA hospital just up the road from us, overlooking The Downs!)
Friday 27th October Cycled from work to see Mr Cawthorn 'the best breast man in the West' (according to Google) and had an ultrasound, mammogram (that has to be torture!) and a biopsy. He confirmed a small cancerous lump and booked me in for a 'wide local excision', a procedure which would involve removal of the lump and a couple of lymph nodes.
Wednesday 1st November Checked into The Glen mid-afternoon and went straight down to theatre. Surgery all seemed to go fine and I went home on Thursday morning with a blue boob (thanks to bruising and blue dye!)
Saturday 4th November Back to see Mr C expecting to hear that all has gone well....how wrong could we be? The tumour was much bigger than the 1.5cm that showed up on the ultrasound - what I could feel was the 'tip of the iceberg' - it was over 3cm - and the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes. I need a mastectomy followed by a course of chemotherapy and am booked in for the following Saturday. For the first time, we realised that this was really serious...somehow we managed to get out to a firework party that night. Where would we be without Iona and her total oblivion to all this and her need for normality?
Marrakesh is off (we were due to go on Thursday 9th - Sunday 12th) and we decided to bring forward my 40th birthday party by a week.
Monday 6th November CT scan
Tuesday 7th November See Mr C in the morning - the CT scan has shown some small cysts on the liver - 'nothing to worry about, most of the population have them' but I'm booked in for a MRI scan just in case. First
meeting with Dr Braybrooke, the oncologist. This is getting worse - he confirms that 14 of the 15 lymph nodes that Mr Cawthorn removed were 'involved with the cancer' and my cancer type has been upgraded from Grade 2 to Grade 3. That's not an upgrade that I wanted. That's about as bad as it can get for breast cancer. Oh no, wait..it can get worse..and it does....Dr B outlines my chemotherapy schedule..assuming that the next day's MRI scan is clear.... which he is expecting.
Wednesday 8th November MRI scan. Mum arrives from Edinburgh.
Thursday 9th November PARTY DAY!! Gets off to a bad start with a text from Mr C asking me to come and see him to discuss my scan results. Well, he's clearly not going to ask me in to tell me everything's ok - I wasn't expecting to see him again until Saturday morning. I speak to him on the phone and he tells me that the MRI scan has shown that the cancer has spread to the liver...I'm not sure we can take anymore of this. The mastectomy is off and I need to start chemotherapy 'as a matter of urgency'.
We go ahead with the party and, despite everything or because of everything, it is the most wonderfully warm, uplifting occasion - thank you to all of you who made it one of the most memorable nights of my life.
Friday 10th November Hangover and a last visit to Mr Cawthorn who says that there is also some spread to the bones..talk about drip feeding bad news. Can there be anything more to come? I can't believe it as I still feel so well but I'm now desperate to start chemotherapy to start doing something about all this - I chase Dr Braybrooke and he gets things in motion to start as soon as possible.
Tuesday 14th November See
Dr B - he says we are now talking 'control not cure'. It is utterly devastating news - this is what I have to live with for the rest of my life. Quote of the week from Dr B 'We are all very surprised by this.' Yes, aren't we just! He also mentions that one of the side effects of chemotherapy is actually to put on weight - now that's just adding insult to injury! Hannah comes round in the evening for a sob-in!
Wednesday 15th November Feeling totally rubbish, Martin and I drop Iona off at Sandra and Anthony's at 7am and head to Mount Vernon Hospital, surely one of the most depressing places on the planet, for a PET scan. I am injected with a radioactive glucose and then scanned. To make me feel even worse I'm not allowed to go near Iona for 10 hours after the scan as I'm radioactive. Martin braves it and lets me sit beside him in the car on the way home...not that I'm much company. At home we clear out the freezer contents to next door to make room for the chemotherapy cold caps.
Thursday 16th November It's chemotherapy day. I take Iona to school and keep busy at home until lovely Welsh nurse David arrives from Swansea - I get the impression that they've had to re-jig the schedules to cater for my demands to start treatment as soon as possible! The actual treatment takes a couple of hours - David sets up a drip and pushes in the 3 drugs one after the other - epirubicin, 5fluorouracil and cyclophosphamide. I wear my cold caps throughout - despite hearing horror stories I find them quite bearable...so much so in fact that I can't believe they do any good...but I'll know in a couple of weeks or so. They are supposed to prevent the blood flowing to the hair follicles and stop the hair falling out. Jacqui arrives half way through and says I look as if I'm going to swim the Channel -move over David Walliams! Martin is on hand throughout the treatment for hot drinks, blankets, jokes...and it's all over quite painlessly...until the next time in 3 weeks.
I feel a bit queasy later and can't face Martin's chicken tortillas.
Friday 17th November It's my birthday and thank goodness that Anna has arrived from Edinburgh as we need a full time door opener/telephone answerer! Flowers, cards, parcels and a week's supply of homecooked evening meals from Margot - I must have been really good in a former life to deserve such fantastic friends. Anna's job is also to road test the new juicer which she and Ed gave me for my birthday - it is the way forward to my new, all fresh, all healthy diet which is going to help me fight this disease.
Nicky, one of the nurses comes to give me my birthday bonemarrow injection - fortunately not in my back as I had originally feared but in my arm. I'll be having one of those the day after every treatment to stimulate my white blood cell count and keep my immune system going.
With Anna, I manage a trip to Fat Face and the school pick up - only the essentials!!
Top tip: Do not announce a serious illness close to a major birthday as you will run out of space for cards and will need a charity shop run for more vases!
Sunday 19th November Martin and I go out to see Adam Hills at Tobacco Factory - seems a bit strange but we booked the tickets ages ago and I feel up to it. It's great - if it's true that patients who laugh do better, then that was £12 well spent!
Tuesday 21st November The chemotherapy doesn't seem to have hit me too hard on the sickness front but I have no energy either. I've also got a very dry mouth..but can still taste my lovely food (thanks John and Margot!)...and don't seem to be going as often as I would like! The steroids and anti-sickness drugs are responsible for that. I'm waking up with splitting headaches - apparently a common side effect of the bonemarrow drug. Martin will also tell you that the main side effect of my treatment is profound grumpiness!
Still waiting to hear from Dr Braybrooke with the result of my PET scan.
Blog on.....So here we are up to date and from now on I'll post bits and pieces as and when there's anything to say. Please feel free to send messages, recipes, book recommendations, jokes or anything that you want.....just don't mention Kylie Minogue!!!!!!
Loads of love to you all and thanks for being here with me.
All aboard!!
Vicky xxxxx
Loads of you have been asking about Iona and how she is and what we have been telling her - well, these pictures from the weekend show that while Iona remains unaffected by the situation, Martin is finding his own way to de-stress (sliding on the rocks at Clifton Suspension Bridge)!! Life is pretty normal for Iona, except that thanks to the wonderful Colston's School mums who have drawn up a childcare rota for days when I'm not up to pick ups or have appointments, she is getting more play date invitations than ever!! Her only complaint is that it's not fair that I don't have to go to work but she still has to go to school. Basically though I'm around as normal and she is as happy and funny as ever which is great for all of us.
