The Bus Stops.

Hi Every one, It’s been a while since I’ve blogged.

Iona started Taekwondo before Christmas and seems to be really enjoying it. Her concentration is amazing. She’s just determined to get beyond my belts! Shouldn’t take her long. We’ll see. Also she’s just had her first piano lesson. All week of practicing middle C..! She’s doing very well at school still and seems happy.

This blog as you all know was Vicky’s idea from the start. Just another One of her brilliant inspired ideas I might add. Of course none of us knew just how cruelly short it would end up being. However, I can say watching her face light up each time she read the comments funny or otherwise was just as important as any medicine. As I’m sure it was for those of you that wrote comments, helping and supporting via the blog was your way of coping. Having said that a lot of you never did write anything for whatever reason it was a help for you too, just to read the blog. To be on the journey.

I still think of Vicky every day. Each time I look at Iona, see the photographs of Vicky around the flat or hear a certain song. With Iona, I sometimes think what Vicky would do now, how would Vicky handle this situation or would Vicky think I was doing a good job. Of course I never get an answer, but I try and just be the man she knew. I always will. Our journey is still ongoing. Some of you have followed this last year or so via the blog, but sadly I feel it time to stop writing now.

It’s gone so fast. I’d never of thought that blow drying a little girl’s hair could be so satisfying! I’ve learned to cope with running a home (that won’t mean much too many guys reading this), juggle a full time job, school holidays, and most importantly keep Iona happy, secure and loved. Without doubt, an even tougher task if it wasn’t for help. Joan, Anna & Ed, Jacqui & Shane, Mark & Jo, John & Margot, Helen & Andy, both Hannah’s, and Emma. Many more of you, I can’t name you all, but phone calls, cards, emails and visits from so many. Every one of you helping in different ways. Amazing all of you.

I will save this Blog so Iona can look back in years to come and be able see just what a unique woman Vicky was. It takes somebody truly special to be loved by so many people. So I end with saying one last huge thank you to everybody for logging on, reading, posting a comment and being there for Vicky, Iona and me.

Lots of Love

Martin & Iona X

November

Hi All

I couldn’t write earlier just found it a little difficult. It was a tough week for all of us I’m sure. I felt the pressure of the painful memories building up.

Iona was well aware of the significance. But didn't show it outwardly. I did try and see if she’d want to do anything in particular on Friday, not surprisingly for those of you that know her, she flatly refused. Which was fine. Friday is my day for picking Iona up from school and we did some cooking! (Thanks Margot great children’s cooking utensils &cook book). We did look at some family photos after and that was nice. Then Iona had the Colston’s Spooky Disco. Iona took her broom, cape and mask. Far to cute, to be a scary Witch. Well, I am biased. Finally, a sleepover at Orla’s. Those two are such good little friends.

I went out on the Friday evening with Jacqui, Hannah and Shane. We decided to go to the Deco Lounge. It was where Vicky had her 40th Birthday Party. We raised a glass or two. Chatting with Jacqui, it did dawn on me how the last year has changed some many people’s lives. And how we have all had to live with the huge empty void that is life without Vicky.

Emma Gray came down over that weekend. We took Iona down to the Waterfront on Saturday. One of Vicky’s favourite parts of the City. We took a moment to drop some flowers in the Dock, remembering mummy. Iona was worried if people saw us throwing flowers in, but it was ok. Iona helped drop a few into the water. Felt, I want to say comforting but it doesn’t sound enough. It just felt appropriate to do that.

Iona then showed us round the SS Great Britain. Joan had taken her there earlier in the year and Iona loved it. In fact, for a Bristolian I have to say I’d never been on board. It was fab. All of you at Destination Bristol must be proud. Well worth a look if any of you visit our lovely City! After Woodstock Rd of course!

The Destination Bristol Girlies had some pink cakes last Friday which was a great way to mark the day. (Sorry I couldn’t get there!) We had lots of very lovely texts, phone calls, poems, cards, and flowers. Thank you to all of you.

A year passed. I know you all miss her terribly, as we do. One thing I do know she’d be very proud of her little girl. Like I am.

Lots of love

Martin & Iona x

The summer 2008

Hi Everyone

I know, long time since my last post but here I am. Better not talk weather, and lost summers.
As I told you all in my last blog I had to plan the summer childcare carefully. And the good news is, it worked out really well.

Iona went to Edinburgh at the start of the holidays, and then stayed with Helen & Andy for a week in Southport. Iona enjoyed every minute there. They did lots of activities, from the Zoo, Liverpool and the great Super lamb Banana hunt, Duck tours and cooking ( nice touch Helen getting a six year to cook for you ! ).. Great Helen & Andy thanks.

From that week I picked Iona up and we flew to Portugal from Edinburgh with Anna, Ed, Ewan and Catlin. Stayed in the Algarve. Very hot, very lovely apartment. A week of chilling out with no phones, targets or stress! Sooo needed.

I stayed in Edinburgh on our return for a week. Took in a few shows with friends at the Fringe. Thanks Emma. Ed and I had planned to watch the 20/20 International vs South Africa in Durham. However,the summer had other ideas. But we’d already booked our hotel and train so we had a night out in Newcastle instead.
Joan took Iona to see High School Musical Theatre show, which even Joan said was a great production and was almost singing along.

Iona had her Birthday in Edinburgh. I flew back up especially just to spend her Birthday with her. So in between Joans, Anna's and holiday we all made it through the summer holidays.

Now Iona is in the juniors!! Her new teacher is Mrs Randell. Iona has been with the same group of children since nursery but this year they split both classes up. Iona was a little apprehensive to be joining the newly mixed class, but her nerves were short lived and she’s made some new friends and the invites for tea after school are flowing! She gets homework now and still gets spelling tests each week. Boo Hoo she’d say. She’s such a book worm. Its pointless going to Waterstones and getting a book, unless it’s going to take her more than the journey home to read it! She's such a speedy reader.

Iona’s Birthday party in Bristol went well. Hawks gym again. Vicky and I had agreed last year it was such a success we’d do the same again this year. 23 children running wild all over the equipment having a great time.. Joan, Anna and Ed helped with the Gym party, but I was on my own for the ‘sleepover’, not just any sleepover but the mother of all sleep overs. In the weeks prior Iona started with inviting 3..then 4.. then got me to agree to 5 (very weak moment, show these kids a glimpse of weakness and they’re in).. Anyway after the gym party, 5 of her friends came back to Woodstock for a sleepover. I know a few thought I was biting off more than I could chew. I was confident (well I didn’t show any nerves or weakness to the parents or children about the impending mayhem). But with 6 seven year olds, pizza and a DVD the night past off without drama. I bought some pink helium balloons and got the girls to decorate the labels and we had a Birthday Launch Party. Still hasn’t had a response, if any of you find one you’ll see my email address let me know please, there is a prize. By 10.45pm all the girls were sound asleep.. phew and by 11pm so was I...

I’ve been injured through the summer and haven’t been running much. Achilles tendonitis to be exact. Just starting to get back into the running now actually. I’m going to run the Cardiff Half Marathon in a few weeks with a few parents from Colstons. http://www.justgiving.com/colstons4stpeters if you can help?

So here we are, September and fast approaching the first anniversary of our loss. It does hit home the firsts? For you all too I’m sure. First Christmas, New Year, holidays, summer and Birthdays without Vicky and any poignant date that you’d remember her by. I take strength from you all, supporting me. Thanks for the comments, messages, phone calls and letters they mean a lot.

More soon

Martin x

July Update..

Hi Everyone

Almost July.. Time flies doesn’t it? What’s been happening since my last blog? Hmm well two weddings, a Wembley final, and Colstons parents camp.. And lots more..

Sarah & Skip got married early May, and it was such a lovely day. It was a long day for a six year old but she did great. They got married at Cadbury Country Club which was amazing. It meant a lot to be there with Iona, thanks S & S. Hope you two lovebirds are ok back in Oz. Skip officially the funniest Australian I’ve ever met, well apart from Adam Hills that is..

Joan was in Bristol the whole month of May, which was so helpful. Jo the nanny was away for two weeks.

Bristol City went to Wembley, we were almost in the Premiership.. But not quite. Brilliant day out though. Thanks Bro. Championship football next season.

My big girl was 18! I know I know I just don’t look old enough.. thanks.. Or is it Laura looks older for her age? We all went out for her Birthday which was fun. She's off on her first holiday without adult supervision.. what out Turkey..!

End of May, Hannah & Rich got married. At Priston mill near Bath. They played the Proclaimers ‘lets get married’ as Hannah walked down the aisle. Perfect. Really was a memorable day. I remember Vicky and me watching the Proclaimers at Glastonbury. We had such a giggle that night. Lots of cool bands playing, we decided the only place to be was with the Proclaimers tent. Hotcin! Good choice Hannah for a wedding song.

In between all of the above we went to see Margot and John, Sue & Roger. Joan had a small gathering at her flat (still keeping it for a while longer yet) it was to say just to thank all of you who were so kind when she was setting up the flat back last year.

We’re going to Portugal this summer with Anna & Ed. Iona is spending a week with Helen & Andy, and a few weeks in Edinburgh. That just about covers the summer holidays.

Last weekend a group of us from Colstons School went camping. A lovely farm close to Tintern Abbey. It was a bit hit and miss with the weather but all the kids enjoyed themselves. Tree swings and balls games for them and a camp fire and alcohol for us grownups. Well I say grownups we were drinking until the small hours and should have known better, kiddie winks were up dead early and some of us were suffering the next day!

Off shopping tomorrow, Iona is in a school play (she’s playing a worker) we need a hard hat and a tool belt? I know a lot of you still log on to catch up with us here in Bristol but don’t leave a message, which is fine.

Love to you all.

Martin & Iona xx

Somebody wants to wear sandals..!

Well in early March we had parents evening, Joan was down here then, and it was good she came along to. Mr Jarman said Iona is doing very well, and he has noticed not too much of a change in her. Which was surprising considering? He even said she’s started to get more vocal in class discussions.

I did the Bath Half in a respectable time, nobody in fancy dress beat me which was pleasing! Got some races lined up for the summer.

Easter was fun. I visited a friend in Leighton Buzzard and then went up to Helen & Andy’s in Southport. Helen did a wonderful Easter egg hunt through the house! Leaving little clues all over the place, Iona loved it. And went to Chester Zoo. What a Zoo that is! Spent the whole day there. Lovely.

As you know Iona and I have been visiting the Bridge Foundation. Iona just listens whilst drawing.. but takes it ALL in... You know children, they pick things up when they’re not even in the same room usually don’t they?... I talk about things, every now and then Iona pops up and corrects me if I get the slightest detail wrong.

St. Peters hospice also has a children’s group, spread over the next 8 weeks. It’s for Children who have lost a parent or someone significant. The first day was in March, about 14 children their ages from 4- 16. Iona really didn’t want me to leave but with a little help from Judy Marshall I managed to ‘escape’.Its a all day event, and they go on a ‘journey’ through what they’ve all shared in one way or another. It’s nothing to heavy of course, lots of art work, music, dancing and playing. Iona didn’t complain when I picked her up anyway. Above all it’s helpful for Iona to see she’s not the only child who has lost someone and there are other children going through what she is. They all placed a picture of the special person at a ‘memory tree’ at the end of the day. Two more dates are planned.

Had small drama a few weeks ago. I had a call at one o’clock in the afternoon from the school. The school secretary told me Iona had a bad fall and hurt her head. She said it was really quite bad and could I collect her. The strangest thing happened as she finished telling me.. I remember thinking to myself (albeit for a second) what’s wrong with calling Vicky to collect her? Why call me? Then felt very silly for thinking that. She was still crying when I got there. Iona doesn’t normally cry for that long unless it’s bad. I took her to the Doctors for a check. Iona just couldn’t remember how it happened or who she was playing with and was wobbly on her feet... anyway no lasting damage.

I took last week off and spent a lovely week with Iona. Actually looked after Ella, one of Ony's school friends for a few days. Horse world, horse riding and swimming. Legoland for a couple of days. Laura came to which was nice.

My brother and I helped out with the London Marathon, whilst Ony stay with my sister in law in Cambridge for the weekend.

Joan is down this week and has been occupying her all week. Joan is keeping the flat for a while longer.

I’ve got two Stags do’s..This weekend and next! Get in! Mountain biking this Saturday in Wales and strangely enough the next Stag weekend is up to Edinburgh. Hannah Marsh & Rich are getting married late May and Sarah & Andrew (Skip) in a few weeks.

Hope all you I don’t speak to regularly are all fine.

Oh I called this entry ‘Someone wants to wear sandals’ because I have got some new sandals for Iona (Boden of course very Vicky) and she’s just so desperate to start wearing them, I get asked every day Very soon I hope!

Love

Martin & Iona x

February Update

Hi All

Thought it was time for a quick update. February was a little glimpse of what things will be like in the future for Iona & me. Joan went back to Edinburgh at the start of the month. So it was just Iona and me for a few weeks. Which was fine. The Nanny is working out really well. Jo picks Iona up from school 3 days a week. Jo does her supper and I get home about 7pm. No real issues at all.

Although Iona did take a real tumble on the way home, whilst scooting down by the park. Cuts & bruises on elbows and knees, Jo felt bad when she told me what had happened, Iona just wanted to show me her scars and plasters! Occupational hazard for a six year old daredevil.

What with school friends Birthdays, sleepovers and going to friends for tea on Thursdays (thank you and you know how you are) Iona has had a busy time of it! Oh and not forgetting another horse riding lesson with her best friend Orla. The month flew by. The last week of February was half term. We flew up to Edinburgh on the Saturday, I left Iona up with Joan and came back the next day.

Yet another lovely week for Iona. What with catching up with her cousins, swimming,meeting Georgia (school friend) and a trip to the theatre (to see Lazytown) it work out well. As it always does, she loves Dick Place. Joan then drove her back last Sunday.

I did make the most of my ‘Free Time’ I went out 5 of the 7 nights! Well, can you blame me? No babysitter, that’s a twenty pound saving per night out! I Went to Football, ‘come on you Reds!’ out with the school dads, work colleagues, and Shane. I’m getting fairly fit for the Bath Half Marathon in a few weeks, it won’t be a PB that’s for sure.

I went to the Bridge foundation to talk about Vicky a couple of times in February, and it was good. I’m going there with Iona next week. Iona has been talking about Vicky a little more recently. Just asking a couple of questions. Nothing more than that. I answer them as honestly as I can. Of course it's Mothers Day Sunday. Lovely Helen did suggest a few things we could do to remember V, I’ll update you next time.

Thanks Ali Bradshaw for the really lovely ‘Saha Mum’s photo Album’.

Love

Martin & Iona X

Mid January..

Hi every one
This month has seemed to fly by hasn’t it? I know a lot of you have asked me to blog just to keep you updated with things.

Well, good news, I’ve found a Nanny to help with a few days after school. (Thanks again Diana). Her name is Jo. She’s an absolute find I have to say. She works in the lunch times at Archfield nursery (Iona spent 4 very happy years there), although Jo has only worked there the last year. Iona and Jo get along very nicely. Joan and I really like her to. Early days I know but fingers crossed. She was with her last family for nine years!

I do keep watching out for Iona to show some noticeable reaction to the last couple of months. It’s hard to see anything really out of the ‘norm’. I’ve decided to go to the Bridge foundation, they deal with bereaved families. I want to get some useful advice on what I should be experiencing with Iona, and things I probably will in the future. They must be good, you’ve got to wait weeks & weeks to see anybody! Don’t know if you remember Vicky and I were booked into the Bridge last year, we had an appointment in early November! Anyway a little professional help and advice is always welcome.

Joan is still here in Bristol, helping with lots of things. I had to go on a course last week for a few days, to improve my management skills. Some of my team said 3 days wouldn’t be enough! And 3 years would be more like it!.. Anyway Iona stayed round at Joan's flat, which is such an invaluable help. She has the flat until May. By then I should be into some sort of routine. And remember the fact that clothes don’t wash themselves,things stay where they’re left unless put away and the fridge needs filling. Also school holidays, never bothered me before, funny that? Trying to get cover is a new one on me, Joan to the rescue.

The school mums & dads are still being great. I’ve said it before but it’s worth saying again I know I can count on so many of them for practical or emotional support. It’s so reassuring. Thanks.

This weekend Iona, Laura (my daughter) and I went to Hartland, North Devon. Jacqui & Shane invited us down with their neighbours. Stayed in an amazing farm house. Children and hay bells in a barn, who needs PS3 or Nintendo Wii ? All of the children had a great time. If the kids are happy then we’re happy right ? ‘Lovely lovely lovely’ to quote VW.

Much love

Martin & Iona X.