Three down, three to go...today was chemo day and that's another one down. Yeah! It's so good when it's over for another three weeks but what with Christmas and everything this one came up on me without too much time to dwell on it. We got back from Edinburgh late last night after a long drive and a very near miss on a rainy M6. The hall is looking resplendent in fresh cream and honeygold although the lingering smell of paint is probably not going to help the nausea!
Iona went off to see Happy Feet with Cormac and Orla, clutching her Happy Feet penguin that she got for Christmas and nurse Nicky came round to see me, clutching her Bob the Builder tool box of drugs and stuff and entertained us with tales of her teenage daughters' boyfriends. Everything went fine - a bit stingy and a bit chilly - and now I'm waiting for the aftermath!! I'm still going with the cold caps as despite my growing hat collection and continuing hair loss, I've still got a decent amount of hair left on my head..and being tall means that most people can't see the thinning patches anyway!
We had a lovely few days in Edinburgh - Iona was delighted because Father Christmas did find her, Martin was delighted because his new gym membership allows him to use a gym in Edinburgh - perfect for getting out of Weir girls' shopping trips and reunions with my school friends and I was delighted because I was thoroughly spoilt and I saw lots of friends, which is always fab. Top Christmas present for me - difficult to choose between the Video iPod from Martin and a copy of the new Northumberland Tourist Guide signed by Jonny Wilkinson (and with photo enclosed) from Barbara.
The only downside of a busy few days is that it is impossible to slow down at this time of year anyway and I did find myself running out of energy some days and I am probably paying the price now..but we have absolutely nothing planned for the next few days...except a few DIY jobs for Martin!!
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and are looking forward to a happy, fun-filled New Year.
Loads of love to you all
Vicky xx
Thursday 28 December 2006
Monday 18 December 2006
Happy, hectic days
It's been a week of work, a visit from Mum, writing Christmas cards and frenzied internet shopping. Since about Tuesday I've been feeling so much better - work has helped - and, in fact, I haven't thought about blogging, which I guess means that I've not been feeling like a cancer patient...just normal...which is great. I say normal...but being sober at the work Christmas party is not exactly normal - it's usually my biggest night of the year but on Friday I was home in bed by 11!! Anyway, Martin more than made up for it the following night at his work do.
Iona finishes school tomorrow so it's going to be quite a job trying to keep her calm until next Monday - I'd say there is no chance. Her main anxiety at the moment focusses on how Father Christmas is going to know that she is at my mum's for Christmas!! Mine is what colour to paint the hall as the decorator arrives at 8.30 tomorrow morning to start!
We're all well and enjoying the happy, hectic build up to Christmas. I hope you are too.
Vicky xx
Iona finishes school tomorrow so it's going to be quite a job trying to keep her calm until next Monday - I'd say there is no chance. Her main anxiety at the moment focusses on how Father Christmas is going to know that she is at my mum's for Christmas!! Mine is what colour to paint the hall as the decorator arrives at 8.30 tomorrow morning to start!
We're all well and enjoying the happy, hectic build up to Christmas. I hope you are too.
Vicky xx
Monday 11 December 2006
Night time demons
Well, things are getting better after my last chemotherapy hit. Not only did it make me sick this time but my whole body has been aching and my left arm has been throbbing. I did have a bit of a grotty weekend and it was a struggle to feel positive about this situation. Helen and Andy came to stay on Saturday night and lifted all our spirits with their wise and comforting words, humour and great company.
The side effect of the steroids which I have to take for 2 days after my treatment are that they play havoc with your sleep. And the demons come when you're awake at 3am - for me the fears focus on pain in the future, life never getting back to how it was and fears for Iona and how this is all going to be for her.
But today things seem much better - I managed to haul myself out to work this morning and although I felt a bit fuzzy it was good to get away from all this cancer stuff and think about something else. I'll see how it goes.
Vicky xx
The side effect of the steroids which I have to take for 2 days after my treatment are that they play havoc with your sleep. And the demons come when you're awake at 3am - for me the fears focus on pain in the future, life never getting back to how it was and fears for Iona and how this is all going to be for her.
But today things seem much better - I managed to haul myself out to work this morning and although I felt a bit fuzzy it was good to get away from all this cancer stuff and think about something else. I'll see how it goes.
Vicky xx
Thursday 7 December 2006
Chemo day
Chemo day and I took Iona to school and did reading workshop, as normal on a Thursday.
My nurse this time was Ursula - I was a bit worried about telling Iona her name as the only Ursula she knows is the sea witch from Ariel! Having just come back to Bristol from 10 years in Edinburgh we had plenty to talk about to while away the 3 hours. And she's arranged for her colleagues in Edinburgh to take my bloods the day before my next treatment so that we don't have to drive down on Boxing Day. Good job too because Iona has got a ticket for The Snowman! Ursula has shot to the top of our nurses' score chart.
It's not an awful experience the drugs going in - it's more the thought of it - and the epirubicin is quite stingy on my veins - but I am really happy when the needle comes out.
Martin stayed at home all day which was great. He was ably supported by Emma who was on hand with mince pies, Australian crunch and plenty of gossip - all a great distraction from the drugs! Iona had a play date with Ellie - Iona's social diary is so full she's got a 3-week waiting list for play dates!!
Unfortunately this time the treatment did make me sick - maybe it was the new drug - and, as I write I'm not sure it's over! Suffice to say I don't think Covent Garden Tomato & Basil soup will be on the lunch menu for a while. So much for Tesco's 2 for 1 offers!
And so 2 down and 4 to go - if this was a half marathon then I've got over the first horrible couple of miles and settled into my pace. This is the cruising phase. The worrying thing about thinking about my next treatment on 28th December is that I realise how close we are to Christmas and how little shopping we've done!
Not much planned for tomorrow - just a day at home with magazines.
Please, please keep on blogging - we read and enjoy every single one. You have no idea how much it means to us. And Abigail - one of your jobs was to make us laugh and you're doing fab.
This blog was typed with the help of Iona ie slowly!
Thanks everyone - next stop..!!
Vicky xx
My nurse this time was Ursula - I was a bit worried about telling Iona her name as the only Ursula she knows is the sea witch from Ariel! Having just come back to Bristol from 10 years in Edinburgh we had plenty to talk about to while away the 3 hours. And she's arranged for her colleagues in Edinburgh to take my bloods the day before my next treatment so that we don't have to drive down on Boxing Day. Good job too because Iona has got a ticket for The Snowman! Ursula has shot to the top of our nurses' score chart.
It's not an awful experience the drugs going in - it's more the thought of it - and the epirubicin is quite stingy on my veins - but I am really happy when the needle comes out.
Martin stayed at home all day which was great. He was ably supported by Emma who was on hand with mince pies, Australian crunch and plenty of gossip - all a great distraction from the drugs! Iona had a play date with Ellie - Iona's social diary is so full she's got a 3-week waiting list for play dates!!
Unfortunately this time the treatment did make me sick - maybe it was the new drug - and, as I write I'm not sure it's over! Suffice to say I don't think Covent Garden Tomato & Basil soup will be on the lunch menu for a while. So much for Tesco's 2 for 1 offers!
And so 2 down and 4 to go - if this was a half marathon then I've got over the first horrible couple of miles and settled into my pace. This is the cruising phase. The worrying thing about thinking about my next treatment on 28th December is that I realise how close we are to Christmas and how little shopping we've done!
Not much planned for tomorrow - just a day at home with magazines.
Please, please keep on blogging - we read and enjoy every single one. You have no idea how much it means to us. And Abigail - one of your jobs was to make us laugh and you're doing fab.
This blog was typed with the help of Iona ie slowly!
Thanks everyone - next stop..!!
Vicky xx
Tuesday 5 December 2006
A meeting with Dr Braybrooke...
Armed with our list of questions we went to see Dr Braybrooke at 4 o'clock. I'd spent the earlier part of the afternoon walking round Clifton with Emma, one of my oldest schoolfriends, testing out the script for a guided walk - it's tough being back at work!!
Anyway, Dr Braybrooke showed us my various scans and even with my non-medical knowledge I feel confident that the cancer is not in my liver. It does seem to have spread quite extensively on my bones down the spine, sternum, and to the points of my ribs - apparently this is quite normal for metastasised (secondary) breast cancer. Because of the spread this presents a problem as to how to best monitor it and I will probably have more scans at the end of this course of chemotherapy. I am going to start having a drug to strengthen my bones - it's the same as one given to osteoporosis sufferers. I will get it at the same time as the chemo and it will lengthen my treatment by an hour..but I don't have to wear a cold cap!
After this course of treatment, Dr Braybrooke expects me to be able to have several months without treatment. I asked about my long-term outlook and he said it was impossible to say but 'we're talking years but not tens of years'. 5 years ago it would have been 1 -2 years but things are always changing and my prognosis is much better with a healthy liver. I've just got to see my beautiful girl grow up.
Dr Braybrooke reckons that as my cancer is not oestrogen receptive (about 60% of breast cancers are) there is probably no merit in giving up dairy products, which is recommended in many of the nutrition books. I'm still doing my research but, for the time being, I'll hold off with the soya milk in my porridge!
I don't know why but I just wanted to know whether I'd have had all the same scans on the NHS and Dr Braybrooke said he wouldn't have been authorised to send me for a PET scan..and that was the scan that showed conclusively that the cancer wasn't in my liver. Scary but true!
We like Dr Braybrooke - he's got a quiet, calm, confident manner and I have no doubt that he is very thorough. He always seems to have plenty of time for us and a genuine concern for how we're all getting on. I know it's his job but I feel like I'm in very good hands and I feel no reason to question my treatment...other than to find out more. I'd say he's definitely on the bus with us - I even gave him my blog address!
And so now I'm psyching myself up for Thursday and a grotty few days.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Vicky xx
Anyway, Dr Braybrooke showed us my various scans and even with my non-medical knowledge I feel confident that the cancer is not in my liver. It does seem to have spread quite extensively on my bones down the spine, sternum, and to the points of my ribs - apparently this is quite normal for metastasised (secondary) breast cancer. Because of the spread this presents a problem as to how to best monitor it and I will probably have more scans at the end of this course of chemotherapy. I am going to start having a drug to strengthen my bones - it's the same as one given to osteoporosis sufferers. I will get it at the same time as the chemo and it will lengthen my treatment by an hour..but I don't have to wear a cold cap!
After this course of treatment, Dr Braybrooke expects me to be able to have several months without treatment. I asked about my long-term outlook and he said it was impossible to say but 'we're talking years but not tens of years'. 5 years ago it would have been 1 -2 years but things are always changing and my prognosis is much better with a healthy liver. I've just got to see my beautiful girl grow up.
Dr Braybrooke reckons that as my cancer is not oestrogen receptive (about 60% of breast cancers are) there is probably no merit in giving up dairy products, which is recommended in many of the nutrition books. I'm still doing my research but, for the time being, I'll hold off with the soya milk in my porridge!
I don't know why but I just wanted to know whether I'd have had all the same scans on the NHS and Dr Braybrooke said he wouldn't have been authorised to send me for a PET scan..and that was the scan that showed conclusively that the cancer wasn't in my liver. Scary but true!
We like Dr Braybrooke - he's got a quiet, calm, confident manner and I have no doubt that he is very thorough. He always seems to have plenty of time for us and a genuine concern for how we're all getting on. I know it's his job but I feel like I'm in very good hands and I feel no reason to question my treatment...other than to find out more. I'd say he's definitely on the bus with us - I even gave him my blog address!
And so now I'm psyching myself up for Thursday and a grotty few days.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Vicky xx
Sunday 3 December 2006
Bad hair days
I've had a bit of a reality check this week - these last few days I've left a mass of hair in the shower. If I shampoo my head my hands are literally webbed in hairs and I can just pluck my underarm hair. And, if only someone had thought of cold pants...!! I've also had a couple of quite busy days - well, busy for recently..not busy for pre-chemotherapy..and they left me feeling absolutely wiped out. I have just got to learn to pace myself - not easy after 40 years!!!
Breakfast now takes an age too, what with my organic oat porridge and my mass of vitamins and supplements. My daily vitamin C dose is 10,000mg and the tablets are so big, Martin calls them my horse pellets! And, don't ever buy wheatgrass in capsules - they look and taste equally revolting!
My next chemotherapy treatment is looming and I'm starting to feel a bit apprehensive. It's a busy week with seeing the oncologist, blood tests, treatment on Thursday and bonemarrow injection on Friday. Dr Braybooke's in for a grilling on Tuesday - Martin and I have got a list of questions ready for him. I might not like the answers to some of them but I need to know where I'm at and I also want to see my scans/x-rays so that I can see this disease. Face to face with the enemy! I will also get the results of my bone scan - a bit of a weird experience, like being in a human sandwich toaster with one big flat plate above me and one below me. Being at the BRI (Bristol Royal Infirmary) made me realise just how lucky I am to be able to have my treatment at home.
I've read Lance Armstrong's autobiography this week and, I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. While there is no doubt his chemotherapy treatment was horrific and his recovery was amazing he just doesn't come across as a very nice bloke. I'm looking forward to reading Jane Tomlinson's next - as for me, I don't think I'll be doing the Bath Half Marathon at the end of March but the Bristol Half in September could be on the cards!!
On the good news front we've had our first baby born on the bus - Jacqui (Little Navigator) and Shane (The Conductor) had little Ernie Alfred Clarke on Thursday night. All well, happy and very fine! Welcome aboard Ernie! And we've just had a lovely weekend with Anna, Ed, Ewan and Caitlin. Thanks to Ewan's early wake ups, we even had the chance to watch some decent English cricket performances!
More very soon.
Love Vicky xx
Breakfast now takes an age too, what with my organic oat porridge and my mass of vitamins and supplements. My daily vitamin C dose is 10,000mg and the tablets are so big, Martin calls them my horse pellets! And, don't ever buy wheatgrass in capsules - they look and taste equally revolting!
My next chemotherapy treatment is looming and I'm starting to feel a bit apprehensive. It's a busy week with seeing the oncologist, blood tests, treatment on Thursday and bonemarrow injection on Friday. Dr Braybooke's in for a grilling on Tuesday - Martin and I have got a list of questions ready for him. I might not like the answers to some of them but I need to know where I'm at and I also want to see my scans/x-rays so that I can see this disease. Face to face with the enemy! I will also get the results of my bone scan - a bit of a weird experience, like being in a human sandwich toaster with one big flat plate above me and one below me. Being at the BRI (Bristol Royal Infirmary) made me realise just how lucky I am to be able to have my treatment at home.
I've read Lance Armstrong's autobiography this week and, I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. While there is no doubt his chemotherapy treatment was horrific and his recovery was amazing he just doesn't come across as a very nice bloke. I'm looking forward to reading Jane Tomlinson's next - as for me, I don't think I'll be doing the Bath Half Marathon at the end of March but the Bristol Half in September could be on the cards!!
On the good news front we've had our first baby born on the bus - Jacqui (Little Navigator) and Shane (The Conductor) had little Ernie Alfred Clarke on Thursday night. All well, happy and very fine! Welcome aboard Ernie! And we've just had a lovely weekend with Anna, Ed, Ewan and Caitlin. Thanks to Ewan's early wake ups, we even had the chance to watch some decent English cricket performances!More very soon.
Love Vicky xx
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