Is it nearly three weeks already? Time flies...and I can assure you I haven't been enjoying myself that much! I've not really had my good days this time as I've had a cold and sinusitis (of course my original diagnosis was a brain tumour!!) non-stop since my last treatment. Hopefully it won't affect my blood tests tomorrow as there can only be one thing worse than chemotherapy and that's not having it when you are preparing for it!! Dr Braybrooke thinks I should be ok though. We saw him today - we now won't see him again until after my scans in April - and I made him promise that when he gets the scan results he'll tell me it as it is!
I'm starting to feel quite euphoric about reaching the end of this particular road - there's just one small block in the way - and that's Thursday - but I've got Ursula again which is great and it's got to be better than last time. Martin and I are braving student night at Jesters Comedy Club tomorrow night in an effort to stave off the pre-treatment nerves.
We had a lovely trip to Dartmouth at the end of last week - three days in a quirky, little cottage, lots of pottering and a brand new Fat Face shop!! I even indulged in a few lattes and the odd glass of wine - bliss!! It did us all loads of good and so we came home and booked a weekend break to London (adults only!!) and cheapo flights to Croatia at the end of May. Abigail quite rightly pointed out last night that it was ridiculous to have booked a place in the half marathon in September and no summer holiday...so I hope this goes some way to address my misplaced priorities!!
My lovely friend Sue drove all the way from St Albans today to spend three hours with me - she is a lady who likes to lunch but, seriously, it's things like that that have helped me through these last four months. Thanks to you all.
So to Thursday and the end of this road..and a month of blissful ignorance.
Love Vicky x
Tuesday 27 February 2007
Saturday 17 February 2007
Out of the fog...
It's taking a long time to get out of the post-chemo fog this time but I'm getting there. My cold probably hasn't helped and I can't seem to shake it off so I've only managed into work twice this week. I don't feel down or sad - in fact I've had quite a nice week, meeting Karen for a flu fighter juice and Hannah for a drink (home by 9.30!), reading books and magazines and perfecting the perfect veggie lasagne (not quite non-dairy, I must confess!) But..I'm up for a party tonight - Jenny's 30th (wow, I feel old!) even if I will be the first to leave!
Anyway, it's half term next week - Iona's got an assortment of people looking after her for the first few days - and we're off to Dartmouth on Thursday for 3 nights. A change of scene and some sea air will do us all good and I feel quite excited about having a little holiday. We've found a lovely cottage in the centre of town so we can potter about and have some fun. As long as Iona can find a place to satisfy her latest obsession of skipping she'll be happy!
Having spent the last four months unable to think about anything beyond the next chemo session, with just one to go, we are now starting to think about life after March - I'm not saying I'm back into my old planning habits but it's good to think that the summer (hopefully) will be treatment free and life can get back to normal for, at least, a few months. We've not dared to book a summer holiday yet but I have entered the Bristol Half Marathon, which is in September, and hope to be up to starting training by the end of March. For now, I'll enjoy the Sunday morning lie-ins! Every cloud..and all that!!!
love Vicky xx
Anyway, it's half term next week - Iona's got an assortment of people looking after her for the first few days - and we're off to Dartmouth on Thursday for 3 nights. A change of scene and some sea air will do us all good and I feel quite excited about having a little holiday. We've found a lovely cottage in the centre of town so we can potter about and have some fun. As long as Iona can find a place to satisfy her latest obsession of skipping she'll be happy!
Having spent the last four months unable to think about anything beyond the next chemo session, with just one to go, we are now starting to think about life after March - I'm not saying I'm back into my old planning habits but it's good to think that the summer (hopefully) will be treatment free and life can get back to normal for, at least, a few months. We've not dared to book a summer holiday yet but I have entered the Bristol Half Marathon, which is in September, and hope to be up to starting training by the end of March. For now, I'll enjoy the Sunday morning lie-ins! Every cloud..and all that!!!
love Vicky xx
Friday 9 February 2007
A miserable afternoon
5 down, 1 to go but I have to say it was grim.
I didn't sleep well on Wednesday night and I woke up with a streaming cold. I was dreading the treatment. When Ursula arrived at 2 o'clock and asked me how I was, I burst into tears. She managed to find a new vein but it was so sore and, to cap it all, I was sick during the treatment too.
It all got off to a bad start on Wednesday with my blood test when the nurse tried to take blood without using a tourniquet and poked and prodded about. Ursula was fab though - she's reducing her nursing hours to become a carpentry apprentice - but Martin is now Director of Chemo Operations - checking his watch and fetching the cold caps on time, holding the bucket, keeping everyone happy and generally being great. It was always going to be a bad one - I'd dumped a presentation in London, which had been booked in for months and which I was originally meant to do, on my two colleagues Kerrie and Emma..so we all had an anxious morning! Rough justice! But, it's over, that's the main thing...and Mum's here (she defied all the weather warnings!) to do the running around this weekend while I loaf and watch the rugby and cricket!
Yesterday's snow was all a bit of a disappointment too - Iona managed to make two snowballs before it all turned to slush...but, at least, her school stayed open!
I feel much better today - no sickness in the night - so it's all uphill from here..except for the middle of the night steroid-induced angst...but now I've been on my course, I feel much better equipped to deal with all the nasty bits of this treatment. I had an interesting couple of days at the Penny Brohn Centre - very thought-provoking and inspiring and quite touchy feeely, intense and emotional. It was great to be with other people in similar situations and to learn how they are dealing with their cancers, all in very different ways, but it made me realise the value of finding a support group in Bristol.
I learnt lots of relaxation and meditation techniques, and most usefully, visual imagery. I've decided to think of my chemotherapy drugs as fairy dust going through my body - ok, I admit, Iona and I have been reading the Rainbow Fairy books for the last few weeks! Not sure though that meditation is my thing at the moment but might well be good in the future when things get tougher. The GP recommended some helpful changes to my vitamins/supplements but it was the Nutritionists who gave me most food (ha ha) for thought!! Their view is very cut and dried - no dairy, no red meat, no alcohol, no barbecuing and lots more no, nos! When I told the Nutritionist that I found coke quite good after my chemo I thought I was going to be sent for detention!! All a bit daunting really, but having said that, having eaten a fantastic non-dairy pizza and lasagne there I would happily give up all dairy if I was convinced by its real benefits. I'm not at the moment and Dr Braybrooke did nothing to persuade me - he says there is no significant evidence for it..so I've decided to continue with my juices, pulses and nuts and organic oats and reduce the dairy, make more vegetable soups and allow myself the odd glass of wine and a few crisps when I feel like it - not today!!
So, we're having a quiet weekend..well it's the usual social whirl for Iona. Martin and I might even take advantage of Mum being here and finally see the Bond film.
Loads of love to you all
Vicky xx
I didn't sleep well on Wednesday night and I woke up with a streaming cold. I was dreading the treatment. When Ursula arrived at 2 o'clock and asked me how I was, I burst into tears. She managed to find a new vein but it was so sore and, to cap it all, I was sick during the treatment too.
It all got off to a bad start on Wednesday with my blood test when the nurse tried to take blood without using a tourniquet and poked and prodded about. Ursula was fab though - she's reducing her nursing hours to become a carpentry apprentice - but Martin is now Director of Chemo Operations - checking his watch and fetching the cold caps on time, holding the bucket, keeping everyone happy and generally being great. It was always going to be a bad one - I'd dumped a presentation in London, which had been booked in for months and which I was originally meant to do, on my two colleagues Kerrie and Emma..so we all had an anxious morning! Rough justice! But, it's over, that's the main thing...and Mum's here (she defied all the weather warnings!) to do the running around this weekend while I loaf and watch the rugby and cricket!
Yesterday's snow was all a bit of a disappointment too - Iona managed to make two snowballs before it all turned to slush...but, at least, her school stayed open!
I feel much better today - no sickness in the night - so it's all uphill from here..except for the middle of the night steroid-induced angst...but now I've been on my course, I feel much better equipped to deal with all the nasty bits of this treatment. I had an interesting couple of days at the Penny Brohn Centre - very thought-provoking and inspiring and quite touchy feeely, intense and emotional. It was great to be with other people in similar situations and to learn how they are dealing with their cancers, all in very different ways, but it made me realise the value of finding a support group in Bristol.
I learnt lots of relaxation and meditation techniques, and most usefully, visual imagery. I've decided to think of my chemotherapy drugs as fairy dust going through my body - ok, I admit, Iona and I have been reading the Rainbow Fairy books for the last few weeks! Not sure though that meditation is my thing at the moment but might well be good in the future when things get tougher. The GP recommended some helpful changes to my vitamins/supplements but it was the Nutritionists who gave me most food (ha ha) for thought!! Their view is very cut and dried - no dairy, no red meat, no alcohol, no barbecuing and lots more no, nos! When I told the Nutritionist that I found coke quite good after my chemo I thought I was going to be sent for detention!! All a bit daunting really, but having said that, having eaten a fantastic non-dairy pizza and lasagne there I would happily give up all dairy if I was convinced by its real benefits. I'm not at the moment and Dr Braybrooke did nothing to persuade me - he says there is no significant evidence for it..so I've decided to continue with my juices, pulses and nuts and organic oats and reduce the dairy, make more vegetable soups and allow myself the odd glass of wine and a few crisps when I feel like it - not today!!
So, we're having a quiet weekend..well it's the usual social whirl for Iona. Martin and I might even take advantage of Mum being here and finally see the Bond film.
Loads of love to you all
Vicky xx
Saturday 3 February 2007
Two days of cancer stuff
I've been a bit slack on the old blog recently - I guess not much has changed and things are taking on a familiar routine - crap week followed by good week and then apprehensive week!! I've been busy at work too - funny to think that I'm still officially on sick leave.
Tomorrow, I'm off to the Penny Brohn Centre (was the Bristol Cancer Help Centre) for two days to learn all about alternative therapies for dealing with cancer - I know that I am going to get alot out of it but I am very anxious about thinking about my cancer for two days. Anyway, it's all about massage, healing, imagery, nutrition and relaxation so should be good - even if it's not for me at the moment, it's good to know what's out there. They're quite strict on the diet front - no sugar, salt, coffee or dairy..but if it all gets too much, Angie and Jon live about two minutes away...so if you're reading this..please be on standby!! You never know, I might decide to ditch the chemo and go for deep breathing and healing stones in the bra instead!
I've got to leave a bit early on Tuesday to make sure I get to my appointment with Dr Braybrooke - I could have given it a miss this time but it's always quite therapeutic seeing him and I've got to tell him that his expensive anti-sickness drugs were rubbish!
Tonight though is party night - we're off to Helen's 40th birthday Casino Party (for those of you who like to piece it all together, that's Bristol Helen who I met at a VSO party about 5 years ago and then again in the Colston's School playground!). Of course I had nothing to wear so I dragged Martin and Iona out this morning and squeezed myself into the got to have, half price in the sale, only one left but a size too small top! I realised why loads of them had broken zips! In fact got to go and follow other Helen's (that's VSO Helen who lives in Southport) 5-point getting ready plan for feeling great for that big night out!
One last thing - Anna has pointed out to me the Sun Walk in Bristol on July 8th - a power walking half marathon to raise money for breast cancer charities. Anna's going to do the equivalent Half Moon Walk in Edinburgh in June but if any of you girls fancy getting your pink bras on and doing the Sun Walk with me, let me know.
Lots of love to you all.
Vicky xx
Tomorrow, I'm off to the Penny Brohn Centre (was the Bristol Cancer Help Centre) for two days to learn all about alternative therapies for dealing with cancer - I know that I am going to get alot out of it but I am very anxious about thinking about my cancer for two days. Anyway, it's all about massage, healing, imagery, nutrition and relaxation so should be good - even if it's not for me at the moment, it's good to know what's out there. They're quite strict on the diet front - no sugar, salt, coffee or dairy..but if it all gets too much, Angie and Jon live about two minutes away...so if you're reading this..please be on standby!! You never know, I might decide to ditch the chemo and go for deep breathing and healing stones in the bra instead!
I've got to leave a bit early on Tuesday to make sure I get to my appointment with Dr Braybrooke - I could have given it a miss this time but it's always quite therapeutic seeing him and I've got to tell him that his expensive anti-sickness drugs were rubbish!
Tonight though is party night - we're off to Helen's 40th birthday Casino Party (for those of you who like to piece it all together, that's Bristol Helen who I met at a VSO party about 5 years ago and then again in the Colston's School playground!). Of course I had nothing to wear so I dragged Martin and Iona out this morning and squeezed myself into the got to have, half price in the sale, only one left but a size too small top! I realised why loads of them had broken zips! In fact got to go and follow other Helen's (that's VSO Helen who lives in Southport) 5-point getting ready plan for feeling great for that big night out!
One last thing - Anna has pointed out to me the Sun Walk in Bristol on July 8th - a power walking half marathon to raise money for breast cancer charities. Anna's going to do the equivalent Half Moon Walk in Edinburgh in June but if any of you girls fancy getting your pink bras on and doing the Sun Walk with me, let me know.
Lots of love to you all.
Vicky xx
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