I have decided to set up a blog as a way of keeping everyone up to date with what is happening - I am lucky to have the most fantastic group of friends (and family, of course!) who have seen me through some of the best times in my life and some of the not so good and I need you all with me now...and this seems to be a good way to keep in touch.
Why 'Get on the Bus'? Well, in those first awful few days after the diagnosis Jacqui and Shane appeared to pick up the pieces on more than one occasion and it was Shane who described us as all setting out on a journey together, each with different roles to play....although he was adamant from day one that Jacqui wasn't navigating!! We'd like you to get on the bus with us - so many people have asked what they can do, well just be here with us.
The day things changed..
Three weeks away from my 40th birthday and life couldn't be much better - I was fit, happy and healthy...or so I thought! Martin and I were due to go to Marrakesh for a long weekend, we had a party planned, I loved my job and Iona was happy at school.
On Friday 27th October (exactly 2 years to the day since I met Martin speeddating!) I was diagnosed with breast cancer - I only went to my GP earlier in the week because Iona was at Mum's for half term. I'd felt a small lump in my right breast for about 10 days or so and I thought I'd take the opportunity of Iona being away to have it checked out - I wasn't even worried...but I should have been!
The last few weeks have been a rollercoaster ride but, unlike the Alton Towers rides, with more downs than ups - for those of you who haven't had to live every awful minute with me, here is the summary of events:
Monday 23rd October First visit to GP, referred to Mr Cawthorn at The Glen (smart BUPA hospital just up the road from us, overlooking The Downs!)
Friday 27th October Cycled from work to see Mr Cawthorn 'the best breast man in the West' (according to Google) and had an ultrasound, mammogram (that has to be torture!) and a biopsy. He confirmed a small cancerous lump and booked me in for a 'wide local excision', a procedure which would involve removal of the lump and a couple of lymph nodes.
Wednesday 1st November Checked into The Glen mid-afternoon and went straight down to theatre. Surgery all seemed to go fine and I went home on Thursday morning with a blue boob (thanks to bruising and blue dye!)
Saturday 4th November Back to see Mr C expecting to hear that all has gone well....how wrong could we be? The tumour was much bigger than the 1.5cm that showed up on the ultrasound - what I could feel was the 'tip of the iceberg' - it was over 3cm - and the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes. I need a mastectomy followed by a course of chemotherapy and am booked in for the following Saturday. For the first time, we realised that this was really serious...somehow we managed to get out to a firework party that night. Where would we be without Iona and her total oblivion to all this and her need for normality?
Marrakesh is off (we were due to go on Thursday 9th - Sunday 12th) and we decided to bring forward my 40th birthday party by a week.
Monday 6th November CT scan
Tuesday 7th November See Mr C in the morning - the CT scan has shown some small cysts on the liver - 'nothing to worry about, most of the population have them' but I'm booked in for a MRI scan just in case. First meeting with Dr Braybrooke, the oncologist. This is getting worse - he confirms that 14 of the 15 lymph nodes that Mr Cawthorn removed were 'involved with the cancer' and my cancer type has been upgraded from Grade 2 to Grade 3. That's not an upgrade that I wanted. That's about as bad as it can get for breast cancer. Oh no, wait..it can get worse..and it does....Dr B outlines my chemotherapy schedule..assuming that the next day's MRI scan is clear.... which he is expecting.
Wednesday 8th November MRI scan. Mum arrives from Edinburgh.
Thursday 9th November PARTY DAY!! Gets off to a bad start with a text from Mr C asking me to come and see him to discuss my scan results. Well, he's clearly not going to ask me in to tell me everything's ok - I wasn't expecting to see him again until Saturday morning. I speak to him on the phone and he tells me that the MRI scan has shown that the cancer has spread to the liver...I'm not sure we can take anymore of this. The mastectomy is off and I need to start chemotherapy 'as a matter of urgency'.
We go ahead with the party and, despite everything or because of everything, it is the most wonderfully warm, uplifting occasion - thank you to all of you who made it one of the most memorable nights of my life.
Friday 10th November Hangover and a last visit to Mr Cawthorn who says that there is also some spread to the bones..talk about drip feeding bad news. Can there be anything more to come? I can't believe it as I still feel so well but I'm now desperate to start chemotherapy to start doing something about all this - I chase Dr Braybrooke and he gets things in motion to start as soon as possible.
Tuesday 14th November See Dr B - he says we are now talking 'control not cure'. It is utterly devastating news - this is what I have to live with for the rest of my life. Quote of the week from Dr B 'We are all very surprised by this.' Yes, aren't we just! He also mentions that one of the side effects of chemotherapy is actually to put on weight - now that's just adding insult to injury! Hannah comes round in the evening for a sob-in!
Wednesday 15th November Feeling totally rubbish, Martin and I drop Iona off at Sandra and Anthony's at 7am and head to Mount Vernon Hospital, surely one of the most depressing places on the planet, for a PET scan. I am injected with a radioactive glucose and then scanned. To make me feel even worse I'm not allowed to go near Iona for 10 hours after the scan as I'm radioactive. Martin braves it and lets me sit beside him in the car on the way home...not that I'm much company. At home we clear out the freezer contents to next door to make room for the chemotherapy cold caps.
Thursday 16th November It's chemotherapy day. I take Iona to school and keep busy at home until lovely Welsh nurse David arrives from Swansea - I get the impression that they've had to re-jig the schedules to cater for my demands to start treatment as soon as possible! The actual treatment takes a couple of hours - David sets up a drip and pushes in the 3 drugs one after the other - epirubicin, 5fluorouracil and cyclophosphamide. I wear my cold caps throughout - despite hearing horror stories I find them quite bearable...so much so in fact that I can't believe they do any good...but I'll know in a couple of weeks or so. They are supposed to prevent the blood flowing to the hair follicles and stop the hair falling out. Jacqui arrives half way through and says I look as if I'm going to swim the Channel -move over David Walliams! Martin is on hand throughout the treatment for hot drinks, blankets, jokes...and it's all over quite painlessly...until the next time in 3 weeks.I feel a bit queasy later and can't face Martin's chicken tortillas.
Friday 17th November It's my birthday and thank goodness that Anna has arrived from Edinburgh as we need a full time door opener/telephone answerer! Flowers, cards, parcels and a week's supply of homecooked evening meals from Margot - I must have been really good in a former life to deserve such fantastic friends. Anna's job is also to road test the new juicer which she and Ed gave me for my birthday - it is the way forward to my new, all fresh, all healthy diet which is going to help me fight this disease.
Nicky, one of the nurses comes to give me my birthday bonemarrow injection - fortunately not in my back as I had originally feared but in my arm. I'll be having one of those the day after every treatment to stimulate my white blood cell count and keep my immune system going.
With Anna, I manage a trip to Fat Face and the school pick up - only the essentials!!
Top tip: Do not announce a serious illness close to a major birthday as you will run out of space for cards and will need a charity shop run for more vases!
Sunday 19th November Martin and I go out to see Adam Hills at Tobacco Factory - seems a bit strange but we booked the tickets ages ago and I feel up to it. It's great - if it's true that patients who laugh do better, then that was £12 well spent!
Tuesday 21st November The chemotherapy doesn't seem to have hit me too hard on the sickness front but I have no energy either. I've also got a very dry mouth..but can still taste my lovely food (thanks John and Margot!)...and don't seem to be going as often as I would like! The steroids and anti-sickness drugs are responsible for that. I'm waking up with splitting headaches - apparently a common side effect of the bonemarrow drug. Martin will also tell you that the main side effect of my treatment is profound grumpiness!
Still waiting to hear from Dr Braybrooke with the result of my PET scan.
Blog on.....
So here we are up to date and from now on I'll post bits and pieces as and when there's anything to say. Please feel free to send messages, recipes, book recommendations, jokes or anything that you want.....just don't mention Kylie Minogue!!!!!!
Loads of love to you all and thanks for being here with me.
All aboard!!
Vicky xxxxx
50 comments:
We're on board and intending to go all the way with you!
Much love, Claire & Vladimir
Grosses bises : Paul, Julien & Innes
Someone's just offered me a free page in the Guardian for tomorrow (something I'd normally jump at) but today I don't care, there's more important things in life! Vicky - what a shocker to say the least. But you're a fighter, always have been and always will be. It's what makes you who you are. Much love and keep laughing, Beccy Brown x
Did Martin show you the Essex girls joke (sent via text)? Haven't stopped thinking about you. This is a great way of keeping in touch.
Lots of love Jo, Mark, Alice and William xxxx
Dearest Vicky.
I'm on the bus - of course I am. I'll clean it, drive it, do the conductor bit - anything to help get it past this blockage in the road. Your blog is alive with positive thoughts and strong energies and between your family and friends, we're holding your hand every step of the way.
x
Just bought a return ticket and climbed aboard, do they allow dogs?!?
Sending you all our love and postive thoughts.
Huge hugs
Zo, Mat and you'll be pleased to know a still terribly behaved Murphy!
xxxx
Is there space for a big fat bum and 2 small ones? Better make room for Gerry's long legs too....
Remember to make the most of the little bit left of my maternity leave and let me know if you need anything.
Lots of love and cheeky baby smiles
Kathryn, Gerry, Maya & Lara
Vicky,
Your such an inspiration, and always remain positive, you can be assured that the party girls from the Penthouse suite will be asking for a first class ticket aboard your bus!!
Loads of love, Hels, Lou & Lesa XXX
Vicky
If you ever need some Jersey fudge to boost your sugar reserves just let me know. Stay positive, i will get my sister to fill me in on any amazing yoga / healing centres near you which i am sure there are many. As you said - stay positive honey keep on juicing... all my love and positive vibes Fluffx
The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination. (Anon)
To a very special & determined lady - who is constantly in our thoughts and we couldn't imagine a better bus to hop on. There have been some tough times in the past and I know that this is the toughest but we are here for you, all you need to do is call. Keep being positive and speak to you soon. With much love, Liz, Scott and bump xxx
At the rate this bus is filling up you'll be owning an entire fleet!! I'll ask Warwick if he's got some spare! Sign me up for a season ticket and i'll be at the usual stop
Hi Vicky - accidently clicked on the publish before signing off my season ticket application! take care with all my love Mick xx
Hi Vicky,
We are on the bus with you! But for your sake we do hope that it will be a very boring ride!
Aha! Very impressive blogging! Nice photo - definitely a fashion item to keep - and great for summer!
And the Essex girls joke...too dirty for the Web?
Lots of love Diarmid and Kerstin xxxx
Dearest Vicky - just found out your bus was in our area! What can we say - you have always had a special place in our hearts - we have seen you tackle situations with such dignity and common sense. We were happy to be around prior to and after Iona was born - and delighted that you elected us as a `bus stop` on your way to Scotland. The bus stop is still here and we are priveledged to be getting on a bus with you this time. We are going to take this journey together- even with its detours - and be with you every bit of the way.
Much love - Muir Rod and Murphy xxx
Hi Vicky,
We're with you every step of the way! I'm sure Ewan will be only too pleased to give an inspirational rendition of 'Wheels on the Bus' anytime you like! Keep on juicing!! Loads of love, Ed, Anna, Ewan & Caitlin xxx
What's the difference between a green and a red bus?
THe red ones are ripe
The Noonies from St Albans are with you every turn of the wheels ..... although Alex wants to know what colour the bus is and says that it needs to be pink!!!!!
Lots and Lots of Love
Sue, Rog, Emma and Alex. xx.
I think we should go for an old Routemaster HalfCab - Red alsways the best colour. Specially adapted seat for Drives Jacqui with very high heals for double declutch
Shall we head for the coast first so that Vicky can blend in with the other swimmers? It'll take a day and a half at least - bring sandwiches
Don't forget the goosefat Martin and water wings for the rest of us
ding ding and they're off!
Love The Conductor
Hi Vic!
What an inspiration you are! So srong and determined and with a sense of humour even in the tougest of times. Stay positive and keep smiling.
I met with Sarah & Andrew in Sydney - Sarah has been on TV again! She sends you a great big hug.
I hope there is still a seat on your bus as i'll 'certainly' be joining you on your road trip. Thinking of you lots and sending you my very best wishes. The office is dull without you!
Kerrie x :)
I'm on the bus - and no OAP, pregnant woman or child is getting me out of my seat as I'm here for the duration!
All my thoughts and wishes are with you. You tell us where the bus needs to go and we'll get you there.
Love and best wishes, Karen, Justin, Isabelle & Oliver xx
We are definately all catching this bus. Iona and Orla will want to hang out in the back seat like mates do. I will stay nearby with arms open to catch them followed by sausages and beans for tea. Always here for you. Short notice not a problem. All our love Hannah, Corm, Orla and Rory XXXX
Hi Vicky,
This bus of yours is clocking up the miles and filling up fast! I just sprayed graffiti on the sign that says Seats 52, Standing 15, and we can always rip out a few rows of seats to make room for more - clinging to the sides and roof, hanging out of windows... all good options. Seems to me - reading the comments on your blog - that one way or another, we're all getting on, and staying on.
I think Lisa already said this in an email - but remember, our day is your night, so if you want to talk to someone in the wee hours, just give us a bell and bring us up to speed on Eastenders, I'm a Celebrity, Balamory... or whatever.
You're in our thoughts every day.
Love John, Lisa, Finn, Millie & Hamish XXXXX
I just bought me a round the world ticket me babber! See I might be in Oz, but it don't mean to say I ain't finking of you! And I never even lost my loverly Brisstle twang!
Expect regular phone calls and bundles of goodies from me, as I'm in for the long haul. All the way, everyday you are in my thoughts.
Sending you positive energy, big hugs, sloppy kisses and lots of love from us downunder.
Sarah & Andrew xxxx
aka Sheila n Bruce
Now Vicky, as you will be spending more time at home in the next few weeks I wanted to pass on this warning.
If someone comes to your front door and says they are conducting a
survey and asks you to show them your bum, DO NOT show them your bum.
This is a scam; they just want to see your bum.
I wish I'd got this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap.
I'm still laughing (can you hear me roaring with laughter?)....I hope you are too!! :oD
Love you and keep laughing!
SB xx
Two and a half tickets for us please. We're on board and will start passing round the sandwiches soon for the journey ahead. What a great way to keep in touch (can you guess I'm a blog virgin too- you've brought out my inner nerd!) Have also packed endless supplies of love and hugs for the road ahead.
Angie, Jon and Liam xxx
Hey Vicky,
Just got this address of John last night at the launch of Alice and so I hope you don't mind me dropping you a line. You didn't miss much last night, that's the launch not the conversation with John.....well actually!!
Vicky I couldn't believe the news, but I know that goes for all of us and I wanted to let you know that my thoughts and best wishes are with you. I am certainly on the bus and will always be!
What a great way this is to keep in touch with everyone, an inspiration as ever. I would offer to keep you up to date with any gossip and interesting news but you know how crap I am at finding things out but at least I can offer to keep you up to date with the football, rugby and cricket scores if you are interested ;-)
I'll be checking in to see how you are going regularly and don't hesitate to shout if there is anything I can do, but it looks like there are many saying the same.
Take it easy Vicky and I'll speak to you soon.
Lots of love and best wishes
Simon
Dear, dear Vicky,
what a shock to hear this. Reading your blog I recognize your spirit between the lines and it brings me back in time to ... Trinite sur Mer. I think you are a brave girl keeping up her head, even with that "funny" cap. Seeing you this way brings up the tears.
Fleur and I are also on board and I am looking for ways to kidnap this bus and turn it around to take it back to better times...
Oh Vicky, if I only could do so.
Say what, if you fancy a game of Backgammon, let me know, and I'll come over Bristol to beat you in the game ... AGAIN :-)
You are in our minds and hearts. Hang on.
Kisses and hugges.
Marco & Fleur.
Oh my goodness, hope this bus is a double decker as it's pretty full already. Room for two more do you think ? I have this lovely image of this crazy pink (?) party bus bouncing along full to the brim of smiling people. Shall we choose a soundtrack or do you think we would be in danger of veering into Summer Holiday territory?! Just make sure it's a British bus and not a Zimbabwean one please.
Anyway, we're honoured to be onboard and in such good company.
Fambai Zvakanaka (travel well)
Helen and Andy xx
Cor blimey guv what a lot of lovely friends you have!
Consider us in for the ride, hope the bus does detours to Kernow.
If its standing room only we will hang on with both hands!
You are very brave, lots of admiration, love and hugs coming your way.
Jenny, Mat, Millie and Amber.xxxx
Hope we're not too late for a space-we're a bit slow up North-Can I bring ma whippet?? We are thinking of you all the time and think this is a fantastic idea to keep us all in touch with you- I feel like I'm getting to know all your friends as well! What a fantastic bunch they are. Keep up the good fight-so glad to hear some good news about your liver my luvverr!!.Lots of love Vicki,Laurence,Lucia and Oscar xxx PS Don't worry about keeping Jacqui away from the wheel-she was always on the back seat at school!!
Hi Vicky,
I am loving your blog and definitely want to hitch a lift on the bus!
If you fancy some company / entertainment, just let me know and I will be round...I can tap dance on request, re-analyse any X-factor performances (please can we get rid of the McDonald Bros?) and I have just invested in series 5 of 24, which is AWESOME (and I have series 1-4 if you need to catch up on Jack Bower!)
Much love and thinking of you,
Danielle xxx
Hi Vicky, Martin & Iona
What a brilliant way of keeping everyone in the loop and on board. We'll hop on when we can and keep in two way communication from our path. For splitting headaches try drinking loads and loads of water. After Ellie's lumber puncture this week she had an awful headache and the nurses suggested she try drinking coffee as they said it's a vaco-constrictor. (Is that related to a boa-constrictor?) Wonder if that would work for your bone marrow injection ? Let me know about wheatgrass - this is how far we've come in 8 weeks! Bring on the wheatgrass... One of my friends has taught me how to do acupressure on the feet to strengthen the immune system - she's used it on her son for the past 9 years and he's been free of coughs and colds even though he's got a serious heart/lung condition. Let me know if you want me to show you.
Love to you all, Grace Ellie & Oscar
Hi Vicky
I want the job of mechanic for the bus and silly kids entertianer(thats me being silly not the kids).
Loadsa love Andy
PS Helen vetted and spell checked this as they do not allow me anything too sharp here....
PPS get Iona working some magic with her wand.
ppps I guess with the cold cap that you look like a jockey, I'd bet on you if you were. ;-)
Hi Vicky
We’d like a travel card please so we can get on and stay on. Thinking of you loads, and think this blog is a great idea. Heres to more daytime catching up (I'll sort your boss out if he sees us...)
Lots of love
Abigail, Angus, Becca and Archie.
Hi Vicky, Dad and Iona,
The Blog is a great idea. I hope there is room on the bus for one more! You'll have to change it to a double-decker bus soon for all these people who want a ticket.
See you soon,
Love
Laura XXX
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you show up and do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up"
Hey Vicky
I'm enjoying the excellent commentary during the bus ride - I knew the summit experience would come in handy one day... and thanks to your blogging I now have a valuable reason to be the web nerd in the corner!
We're all missing you lots and are looking forward to seeing you very soon. Stay strong, Em xxx
Dear Vicky
would just like to say that i am defo on board with you, all the way!!
your so brave and cheerful!!!
love the blog aswell....
always thinking of you,
lot of love and kisses...your on-call babysitter...
Katie xXx
Hi Vicky, looks as though your bus is actually a caravan of love. Big northern hugs from dave & anna (shane n' jacqui's mates)
lots of love from andrew your nefew
Dear Vicky
We're hoping we get a trans-atlantic pass!
I thought of this amazing site the other day when I read, "Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles. It won’t take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother"
We're with you all the way and hope with all the love and laughter coming your way we can smooth the road a bit. Keep driving!
Lots of love, Ali, Rik, Max & Connor xxx
Dear Vicky,
Nick and I want to send you the most huge amount of good luck to cope with what you are facing right now.
You have clearly touched us all (in the right place of course!!!!) and hope that in some way, we can give you all the strength you need to deal with this!
Our best health tip.....DON'T accept an offer from Shane to cook for you. We know, 'cos we've been there!!!!
Take care, petal.
Thinking of you tons,
Nick, Jo, Wizz and Phoebe.xxxxxxxxx
Vicky-
Hello!....It's been awhile since I last saw you in Bristol with Jax, Jane and Carol.
I can see I'm one of the many Clipper alumni who have you in their thoughts. So, all the way from Denver, Colorado I'm sending positive vibes,sunshine,clean Rocky Mountain air and very warm wishes to both you and your family. I've jumped on the Magic Bus.....
xxx
Karen Sheridan :)
(Glasgow Clipper 2000)
Hiya Vicky
Glad you liked the scarf - perhaps you could wear it to counteract you swimming cap?!The birthday evening was lovely -it was great that you went ahead with it and enjoyed it so much - a welcome diversion I guess!Let us know if you need an hour with MArtin and we can look after Iona for you - no problem. Will drop a line as much as I can - as you can imagine for the next few weeks I will be lost in "piles of Coke" as LAura calls them. Look out for me stocking shelves in Sainsburys! loads of love Helen Hewlett
PS Jack has started walking - in a Frankenstein stylee of course - but v funny!
It's great to be with you on the bus, it's full of lovely folk (not surprisingly!) and what a brilliant and brave way to stay in touch.
Going all the way with you girl,
Lots of love, and to Martin and Ionochka too, Emma xx
Hi Vicky,
Any room for some late arrivals? This bus of yours is fit to burst, must be a health and safety hazard.
Thank goodness you've had some good news at last.
We're with you every step of the way with everything crossed.
If anyone can fight this thing it's you Vicky.
Much love and best wishes
Jayne, Tony, Anna and Charles.XXXX
P.S. Don't worry Angie, I'm a blog virgin too!
Dearest Vicky,
I think your blog is brilliant. It's a great way of letting us all know how you're getting on.
Can we see more piccies please ? Love the picture of Iona but I'm a bit unsure about the one of Martin rubbing his bottom down a rocky slope !?
Can you think of anything to tempt your taste buds from Italy ? The Italians aren't really into oats and yew bark as such (see Maurizio's waist size).
Thinking of you every day and of how brave you are.
A massive hug from Sarah, Maurizio and Isabella.
Hi Vicky,
Well Im definitely a blogging convert!- what a fantastic way of keeping everone in touch with whats happening and for us all (tons of us by the looks of it!) to show how much we care.
I dont think anyone's added a recipe yet so here's a top tip from a juicing pensioner: use all that leftover carrot/orange pulp to make a delicious carrot/orange cake.
All our love, Allison&Gobi with a big sloppy kiss and cuddle from Jessica xxx
Dear Vicky,
You have been much in our thoughts since Shane told us your news. Like everyone else, we wish there was something we could do to help. All we can offer is that if you need some distraction we're also busy blogging at http://jonesontour.blogspot.com/
Our only advice regarding the bus analogy is don't sit next to Shane. He talks too much and some of his bodily odours leave much to be desired.
Best wishes
Nick, Jo, William and Phoebe
As this our first Blogging experience Vicky , we feel very happy to be participating with you on your journey, and we do hope there will be room for us too on the bus with all your groupies!We would just like you to know that we are thinking of you very much indeed, and look forward to seeing you soon in Edinburgh. Fight on!
With our love, Jim and Jennifer.
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