A miserable afternoon

5 down, 1 to go but I have to say it was grim.

I didn't sleep well on Wednesday night and I woke up with a streaming cold. I was dreading the treatment. When Ursula arrived at 2 o'clock and asked me how I was, I burst into tears. She managed to find a new vein but it was so sore and, to cap it all, I was sick during the treatment too.

It all got off to a bad start on Wednesday with my blood test when the nurse tried to take blood without using a tourniquet and poked and prodded about. Ursula was fab though - she's reducing her nursing hours to become a carpentry apprentice - but Martin is now Director of Chemo Operations - checking his watch and fetching the cold caps on time, holding the bucket, keeping everyone happy and generally being great. It was always going to be a bad one - I'd dumped a presentation in London, which had been booked in for months and which I was originally meant to do, on my two colleagues Kerrie and Emma..so we all had an anxious morning! Rough justice! But, it's over, that's the main thing...and Mum's here (she defied all the weather warnings!) to do the running around this weekend while I loaf and watch the rugby and cricket!

Yesterday's snow was all a bit of a disappointment too - Iona managed to make two snowballs before it all turned to slush...but, at least, her school stayed open!

I feel much better today - no sickness in the night - so it's all uphill from here..except for the middle of the night steroid-induced angst...but now I've been on my course, I feel much better equipped to deal with all the nasty bits of this treatment. I had an interesting couple of days at the Penny Brohn Centre - very thought-provoking and inspiring and quite touchy feeely, intense and emotional. It was great to be with other people in similar situations and to learn how they are dealing with their cancers, all in very different ways, but it made me realise the value of finding a support group in Bristol.

I learnt lots of relaxation and meditation techniques, and most usefully, visual imagery. I've decided to think of my chemotherapy drugs as fairy dust going through my body - ok, I admit, Iona and I have been reading the Rainbow Fairy books for the last few weeks! Not sure though that meditation is my thing at the moment but might well be good in the future when things get tougher. The GP recommended some helpful changes to my vitamins/supplements but it was the Nutritionists who gave me most food (ha ha) for thought!! Their view is very cut and dried - no dairy, no red meat, no alcohol, no barbecuing and lots more no, nos! When I told the Nutritionist that I found coke quite good after my chemo I thought I was going to be sent for detention!! All a bit daunting really, but having said that, having eaten a fantastic non-dairy pizza and lasagne there I would happily give up all dairy if I was convinced by its real benefits. I'm not at the moment and Dr Braybrooke did nothing to persuade me - he says there is no significant evidence for it..so I've decided to continue with my juices, pulses and nuts and organic oats and reduce the dairy, make more vegetable soups and allow myself the odd glass of wine and a few crisps when I feel like it - not today!!

So, we're having a quiet weekend..well it's the usual social whirl for Iona. Martin and I might even take advantage of Mum being here and finally see the Bond film.

Loads of love to you all

Vicky xx