We are reeling...
I was away with work for a week and felt a bit tender and sore in my right breast when I got back. I phoned Dr B who suggested I see Mr Cawthorn. The luxury of the private health system means that I phoned him on Tuesday and saw him last Friday. He poked and prodded and did an ultrasound and said he didn't like the look of it. He did a biopsy and took a sample from a red mark on my skin.
I waited all day yesterday to hear from him and finally he rang at lunchtime today.
Both samples show signs of recurrence of the cancer in that area so I'm having a mastectomy tomorrow followed by radiotherapy and then more chemo. It's the more chemo that's the real killer.
So many questions going round my head but nothing more to say at the moment except time to get the bus out of the garage.
Love Vicky xx
43 comments:
So sorry to hear that. You're in my thoughts.
terry xx
What to say? F*** springs to mind, but isn't exactly helpful. Tears also sprung, but are equally useless.
So, so sorry to hear that Vicky. The bus will be crowded again and I know your friends and family will all do everything remotely possible to help you through it.
Anything we can do, let us know. As you know, we're truly living it with you.
Love and hope
Helen, Quent and Oakley
x
Just to say to everyone how really helpful I found your support for Vicky and we know you'll all be with her again.
Thank you,
Joan (Yaya/Vicky's mum)
Shane and I are here as always my dear friend (practically as well as emotionally).
If anyone wants to stay in Bristol near Vicky, Martin and Iona please give us a call(07977012311). We have space for families.
With love
Jacqui
What a dreadful blow Vicky - our thoughts are with you. You fought it hard and long last time - you can do it again. There is clearly no doubt that the support you will get from all your fellow travellers will be at least as strong as it was before. Be strong, be brave, be determined. Be assured that you are treasured by so many people.
love
Diana and Matthew
xx
Dear Vicky,
there is so much I want to say right now but I cannot find the words apart from one sh..!
We had hoped so much that after the last time that you would have a longer time to relax. Our thoughts are with you!
Lots of love and strength
Kerstin & Diarmid xxx
S*@t, Vicky - we can't believe it. At least the bus is ready, we've all got our seats and we're back on board for the duration. A couple of weeks ago, I did the Winchester 5K race for life (after no training!) principally inspired by you. I hope the thought of all of us with you every inch of the way will inspire you to complete this next marathon. All our love Cath, James, Ellen & Alex xx
Dear Vicky,
I can't imagine how you must be feeling but hope you know how many people have leapt straight back on the bus for the ride ahead. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and will be in touch again soon.
All love,
Karen x
My dear, dear friend Vicky, words just can't express the way I am feeling about your news. This is the most dismal day...
But, as ever you are being so strong and brave. We will also pick ourselves up and fight on with you. Best of luck tomorrow, we will be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery from your surgery.
We'll be thinking of you every day and will be with you through the radiotherapy and chemotherapy. Lets make a plan to get together soon, something to look forward to....
Lots of love, hugs and hope from John, Margot, Rowan, Ceara and Lochlan to you, Martin and Iona
...we are back on your bus...
Hi V,M & I (and Joan!)
We're back on board, of course. Gutted that we're off again so soon but last time we all got there in the end and I'm sure we'll all do it again. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you tomorrow. You know if you need anything at all you only have to ask. I'm sure it must be harder facing all this a second time but I know, that with everyone's help, support and good wishes, you can get through this. You can, I know you can. If you can't believe it yourself then let us all believe it for you and you just concentrate on getting better. Be in touch soon, lots of love,
Helen and Andy xxx
Vicky
We are so dreadfully sorry to read your news, but you know we are all right there with you and will be on the bus for the whole way again.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you all and we'll be watching for news.
Love Ali x
Keep up that fighting spirit girl!
See you at the weekend.
Lots of love
Anna, Ed, Ewan and Caitlin
xxxx
Dearest Vicky
What a terrible time for you again. We are both very sad that you have to go through all this - but what a fighter you are. Your courage and determination - will get you through and I know that the bus is probably almost full - but thank goodness we had our old seats still available. We are with you all of the way and there will be so many others trying to get on this bus that I think we should organize a fleet of buses so no-one is dissappointed. You are a remarkable young lady and an inspiration to so many. Everyone is so proud to call you a friend. We are here for you anytime you need us - have courage and take strength from all those who love you.
Your pals in the north -
Muir and Rod
Our love to Martin and Iona - and Joan - they too are remarkable people.
Oh Vicky Vicky
I'm so sorry that the cancer's back. I feel so sad for you all but what I keep remembering is the strong beautiful vibrant sparky Vicky that we all know and love. It's that image of you I'm holding in my mind's eye.
Not much comfort to you but despite Ellie's continuing bombardment with chemo her body is reacting less to it even though the doses are being ratched up. Very much to everyone's surprise.
All our love Grace and Ellie xx
So sorry to hear your news Vicky. We'll be thinking of you today and sending loads of positive vibes for the coming months.
With lots of love
Lisa, John & family
So sorry Vicky, what a blow. You've fought it off before so I know you can do it again. Sending all our energy to to and with much love. Lucy, Simon Harrison and Monty. x
Darling Vicky, I'm just so gutted for you and want to scream and shout about the unfairness of it all. You, Martin and Iona will be in our thoughts and prayers as you once again face this battle. As always you are an inspiration. All our love Jo and Mark xxxx
Dearest Vicky
Sending you all our love and support especially for tommorrow and the next few months. As you know everyone is thinking about you and is there for you - use us all.
Lots of love to Martin and Iona too.
Big Hugs
Sue, Rog, Emma and Alex.XXXXXXXXX
dear auntie vicky,
thats rubbish. me and andrew are what can only be described as pissed off. (andrews choice of strong words to fit his almost 13 status) good luck tomorrow we will both be thinking of you. we both hope to speak to you soon and are hoping to give u a rare joint brother sister phonecall. defienately going to try and squeeze ourselves onto ur already full bus.
lots of luv
helen and andrew (the other ones)
xx
Darling girl. Don't know what to say apart from all the love and more is there for you from us and everyone else on the blog.
Am now going to go and kick the wall or something.
Angie, Jon and Liam xxx
Dear dear Vicky,
What a blow. I can't believe it. My first reaction was the f word too, like so many of your friends.
You've done it once and you can come through it all again. I'm on the extremely cramped bus which seems to be ready to burst already. We're all here and thinking of you.
I hope the op has all gone OK. I'll be phoning you very soon. Until then, be strong.
Love to all three.
Sarah, Maurizio and Isabella.
Oh Vicki,
Sending you loads of positive thoughts. You WILL crack this; you have fantastic strength, an amazing attitude and the support of EVERYONE.
Big, big hugs,
Wendy (TSN)
Dearest Vicky
Sat in a conference in Birmingham reading this, am so so so shocked and we are all well and truly on board once again. You are so strong and special to us all.
Dont know what else to write at the mo but sending you all the positivity, love and best wishes in the world.
You will beat this
Zoe, Mat Murphy and Bump xxxx
Dearest Vicky, lovely and brave girl, I'm thinking of you so much. Wish I was there and could just give you the biggest hug - you've got Martin and Iona right there for that and all their love and all of ours will keep you going. You are just magnificent and all of us are beside you and supporting you and loving you very much. Emma xxx
What a blow, Vicky. I'm so sorry this has happened. Of course we are all thinking of you and I'm confident that your amazing strength and desire to knock this thing on the head are a great weapon. I hope the op went well today. You, Martin, Iona and your family are in our thoughts. Merde. Loads of hugs.
Gill, Rick, Millie and Charlotte xxx
Oh my God Vicky, what a devastating blow. We'll be thinking of you today and over the forthcoming weeks with the chemo.You're a real fighter Vicky, you got through this before and you'll do it again.
Stay positive.
Much love, strength and hope.
Jayne,Tony and family.xxxx
Hiya Vicky
Cant believe it, so unfair.But yes, all the Saha girls will be right back on the bus with you - and thinking of all three of you. Once again, you know where we are when you need us - especially to help with Iona in the summer hols. Loads of love from Helen, Gary, Laura and Jack xxxxxxx
Hi Vicky- sending you a huge hug and all our love. You did so amazingly well last time so hold on to your fighting spirit and keep your chin up -your ever-growing band of bus travellers is with you all the way.
Wishing you all the very best for today. We are thinking of you
Vanessa, Paul, Isabella and Alessandra
xxx
Hey Vicky
We're all thinking of you this afternoon, lots of people are sending their best wishes so I'll blog them to you (see below)
p.s. your shoes are still under your desk in case you wonder where they've gone!
Em xxx
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Hi Vicky,
I'm so sorry to hear your news - and just wanted to write to wish you the best of luck with your operation and treatment.
Best wishes from all of us at Creativity Events
Sally
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Dear Vicky,
Really sorry to hear your news. Keep thinking positively and zap the bastard.
All good wishes and looking forward to seeing you again in the not too distant future.
Carole x
(with apologies for the expletive, but justified I think!)
Carole Bond, Real tourism
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Dearest Vicky
B******s, what horrible news - not sure what else to say, except that we are obviously on the bus with you and really feel for you.
Have been thinking about you lots recently as we still hadn't fixed up a time to see each other - we will have to keep the champagne on ice for a bit longer. I will give Jacqui a call and see if Elouise and I can come and stay with her once you are back on your feet and feel like visitors.
I know it will be difficult but keep on being positive and if you need anything just shout - we are definitely mobile again now.
With much love
Liz, Scott and Elouise
Hey Vicky,
Don't know what to say apart from I am so sorry to hear this horrible news, my thougts are with you.
All my best wishes
Simon
This bus - full of strength, love and positive thoughts has done the job once, and by god, we can do it again.
Thinking of you
Lots of love to you all,
Kathryn, Gerry, Maya & Lara
xxxx
OK.
This is NOT a blow or a disaster. It's simply another challenge and you have proven to all of us how adept you are at dealing with those.
Vicky, believe in your strength of character and keep a firm eye on the future and you will get through this.
You know that the motorway now has a whole fleet of buses, filled to the brim with supporters surrounding you as events unfold and helping you through the tough bits.
This is NOT GOING TO BEAT YOU. You WILL GET BETTER. YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY LOVE AND SUPPORT. A STRONG FUTURE AWAITS!
Thinking of you Vicky and wondering how yesterday went. Steve sends his love as do I - heaps of it with big hugs too.
Judy xxxx
Judy Graydon just told me about your latest challenge. You have certainly had more than your share. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You're a little rock star and even they sing out of tune sometimes!
You're just singing out of tune at the moment but with the right fuel and tweaks here and there, you'll be making beautiful songs again soon.
If you lose your positive energy every now and then, don't worry, treat it as a writer's block day. That's just normal.
How about watch some holiday programmes to help get you through the horrid chemo and dream your next holiday - it'll give you something comforting and relaxing to look forward to.
Lots of love and special wishes for the next few dyas.
Beccy B and Ian x
Dear Vicky
Words cant do justice to how I feel about your latest news
You inspire me and so many othersalso ....please keep doing what you are doing, I am so optimistic for you..
John Hirst
Hi Vicky,
Hope there is room on the bus for the Party girls in the Penthouse Suite??
Have been thinking of you after hearing of your news and was pleased to hear that you were back home after the op. Was it something you said to them that they didnt want to keep you too long?????..... No it was all of the positive strength you have to fight this.
We are here fighting with you, hope the trashy mags help to keep you occupied.
Our thoughts are with you all & your Mum too.
Keep strong Vicky,
Hels, Lou & Lesa xxxx
Horrible news.
But dig deep, and kick this thieving scumbag fare-dodger off the bus!
Luke
Hi Vicky,
We're a couple of days behind with the news, but 'B*gger'.
Very sorry to hear that 'it' is back. Hope you are recovering well after the op. We are definitely back on the Scottish route of the bus.
Bring back that fighting spirit we saw before.
love, Emma and Ian xx
P.S. Well done to Anna for completion of her 26 mile Moonwalk - cold caps for all!
Vicky
think I echoed Helen a bit and swore. What appallingly horrible news.
I guess there is still some investigation to do to find out the extent? and how you respond to treatment?
Hope to see Martin, or your Mum in the playground, and let us know if we can help looking after Iona, the Readybed is still ready and Laura has a new desk to show off now.
Thinking about you all, much love and willing to help out in any way we can,
Suzi, Luke, Laura, Helena, Felix xx
hey vicky, Davie P here (martins side kick lol)
not much i can say that hasent been said, except for your a right little warrior, your in my thoughts quite often, and also give me ispiration with your fighting outlook, hopefully catch you soon, much love xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Unbloomingbelievable - op Wednesday evening, back home on Thursday, in the school playground picking up Iona on Friday!!! No loss of fighting spirit there, I suggest! The rest of us would still be under the duvet demanding lucozade and home made chicken soup.
Diana x
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